Wednesday, September 9, 2020

Wednesday, September 9, 2020

Tonight's picture was taken in September of 2008. That day, one of my friends came to visit us in the hospital. With her, she brought a block of clay, some tools, and goggles. Mattie had to excavate  through the clay to reveal plastic dinosaur bones. These bones then connected together, to form a 3-D dinosaur! Mattie worked on this block of clay for hours. It was the perfect activity for him. As it did not involve gross motor movement, only fine manipulation. Despite all of Mattie's surgeries, his fine motor movement was excellent. 

Quote of the day: Today's coronavirus update from Johns Hopkins. 

• number of people diagnosed with the virus: 6,351,623
• number of people who died from the virus: 190,478

Given that yesterday was the 11th anniversary of Mattie's death, we both feel a bit shell shocked today. It is hard to know how to prepare for these milestone moments, and most definitely I have learned over this past decade to have no expectations for others in our life. With time, people forget and it is natural. It is also natural to think that parents heal and the loss isn't as painful as time goes by. 

With that said, I am thankful to have friends who texted, emailed, left messages on Facebook, donated to the Foundation and reached out to us. It makes a huge difference on a hard day, which unfortunately doesn't last for only 24 hours. The day starts another year without Mattie and all that this signifies. I wanted to highlight two messages I received yesterday. One was a poem written by a colleague and long time friend. Nancy has a special way of capturing the sentiments and thoughts associated with an emotional day. The other message is from a child life professional I have had the opportunity of getting to know since 2018. Ironically I haven't worked closely with this professional, but apparently she has followed our story and is touched by Mattie's memory. The beauty of Mattie!

Remembering You

by Nancy Heller Moskowitz

Missed each and every day, Sept. 8th. is etched in our bodies

Achievements through the Foundation continue to remind everyone of your life

Today we visited your Oak Tree, proud and sturdy

The acorns and lady bugs were abundant, nature is your signature, your gift

I feel your presence as does Daddy, loving us back as we cherish you

Each year brings a new challenge, our son forever!

The second message came out of the blue, as I only periodically communicate with Jessica. Jessica wanted me to know about an art exhibit she attended in 2018. At the exhibit she participated by adding a wooden note to the display that reflected upon Mattie's life and his impact on her. Totally stunning for me to hear this, since we don't know each other well, nor has she ever met Mattie. However, I have had the opportunity to watch Jessica interacting with patients and she is very gifted. Not only capable, but she taught herself the Spanish language, and is very at ease working with children in English or Spanish. Her energy is always positive, consistent, and compassionate. The perfect combination for family members when stuck living inside a hospital. 

This is a photo of the art exhibit entitled, David Best's temple. The hand crafted temple was a glowing sanctuary, offering visitors a quiet place to reflect and pay tribute to lost loved ones. This site-specific installation covered the walls with intricately carved raw wood panels that led to an ornate altar. Wooden placards were provided for visitors to write a personal message and leave within the installation. I am so sorry I missed this exhibit, but was thrilled to hear Jessica went, and not only went but placed a wooden card in memory of Mattie at the exhibit. 

A short video about the exhibit: https://americanart.si.edu/exhibitions/david-bests-temple

Here is a photo of the note Jessica inserted into the display back in 2018. I was deeply moved by her entire message to me, but this sentence stays with me........
 "what I didn’t realize is how much I could think of or care about a child who I never even got to meet." 

I did not know until now that Jessica wrote this wooden note, or that Mattie's life has touched her in this way. So this was a very, very special gift to receive on the 11th anniversary of Mattie's death. The gifts that are unsolicited are always the best. But what Jessica's email made me see, is that I must be doing a good job at keeping Mattie's life and memory alive. Otherwise, how would anyone, who hasn't met him, know about his amazing life and legacy.