Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2008. It was at Mattie's end of school party. The children went to a park and I volunteered to help that day. In fact any opportunity to get involved, I always volunteered. I am happy I did because if I hadn't, I wouldn't have gotten a second chance at the experience. Pictured with Mattie were his very close friends, Charlotte (who Mattie referred to as his girlfriend) and Campbell.
Quote of the day: Fatigue has many faces and many causes. Fatigue and tiredness mean different things to different people. ~ Michael A. Schmidt
In any given day, at any given moment, I am juggling multiple things. After I got my dad showered and dressed and downstairs for breakfast, my mom needed help with phone calls and bills. Mind you we were trying to eat breakfast. But I have learned that if I don't do things immediately it causes more problems. So I did it! My dad went to the memory care center today, and this gave me the time to complete all our Foundation acknowledgments for the Walk. I also was able to complete acknowledgments to all of our raffle donors. So it was a productive administrative day today. I find what would have taken me hours in the past, can now take me weeks.
The everyday routine is sickening however. I know it has gotten my mom down. I think she was under the impression that things would be better here in Virginia, than they were in California. Of course I am a realist, and I know my dad's physical and cognitive issues are significant and NOT geographic dependent. I knew exactly what I was getting myself into but my mom somehow did not realize the huge impact it would have on my life, Peter's life, my social life, and married life. Having been a caregiver to Mattie while he was battling cancer, I absolutely know first hand the toll of being a full time caregiver. Certainly caring for aging parents is different than a child with cancer, but there are many overlaps. The commonalities are the physical toll, the mental and emotional toll, and the intense isolation. I have been there and am experiencing it once again.
This afternoon, I stopped working and told me my we were going out! I drove to the mall and we actually ate lunch outside. Yes it was like 90 degrees outside, but she thrives in the heat and I frankly enjoyed seeing the greenery and hearing the birds, without jumping to meet my dad's multiple needs.
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