Saturday, September 24, 2022

Saturday, September 24, 2022

Tonight's picture was taken in September of 2007. Mattie was five years old and that weekend the Embassy of Sweden was having an open house, with lots of activities for children. Since it was so close to our townhouse, we could easily walk to it. Outside the embassy was this giant chair. I helped Mattie up on it and I snapped a photo. After Mattie died, whenever I would walk Sunny passed the embassy, I thought of this moment in time. 

Quote of the day: There is no right way to grieve; there is only your way to grieve and that is different for everyone. ~ Nathalie Himmelrich

Today feels like a blur. I got up at 6:30am and hit the ground running. My dad's friend was coming over to visit at 1pm and then I was going to serve an early dinner at home. But I assure you trying to get myself together, my dad up, washed and dressed, get my parents downstairs for breakfast, start laundry, run to the farmer's market and then finish prepping dinner was a royal feat. By the time 1pm rolled around, I felt thoroughly worn out. 

I clearly know how drastically my parents have changed, but it takes it to a whole new level to see their decline through someone else's lens. What Peter and I have concluded is that we have to be a part of all conversations, because without us, it is actually difficult for them to entertain anyone anymore. It is sad, even someone like my dad's friend who they have known for 40+ years. Despite all we have going on, there was a bit of Mattie Miracle colors at our table today!

Overall, I feel that it is very hard for people to understand my role as a full-time caregiver. However, once a person actually observes what I am juggling, then I do see a greater understanding or acknowledgment of what I am talking about. Things were busy for me today, I did not know if I was trying to talk, serve, cook or what. So I never took photos. Only photos of our island set up for my dinner buffet. 

At 2pm today, I used Facetime to call a mutual friend of my dad's and our visitor from England. We were on Facetime for about an hour! The person we called worked with my dad and is very engaging and fun to talk with. So conversation flowed, or at least it did for me. My dad fell asleep for most of the call and my mom was trying to follow along. 

Today's menu:

• flank steak marinated overnight in red wine, worcestershire sauce, soy sauce, etc
• carrots (fresh from the farmer's market) in a ginger sauce
• arugula salad with homemade raspberry-basil vinaigrette
• twice baked mashed potatoes
• fresh fruit platter and sorbets

The highlight of my day today was receiving a big package in the mail for the Foundation's item drive. In the box was this lovely message, from someone we never met!