Tonight's picture was taken on Halloween of 2008. Our last Halloween with Mattie. Mattie trick or treated at the hospital by day and then went to his friend, Zachary's house in the evening. Mattie decided to be a mummy that year. It was the perfect costume that covered up the fact that his right arm was casted. Pictured with Mattie was Sally the Story Lady! Sally was one of the volunteers Mattie absolutely loved. I mention this because there were only a handful of outsiders that Mattie let in and related to! Sally was one of them. Sally brought stories alive and there was always hands-on participation, which resonated with Mattie. I will never forget this dynamic duo!
Quote of the day: Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory. ~ Franklin P. Adams
Mornings in my house are hard. Especially mornings when there are appointments. Today, my mom had a physical therapy session at 10am. However, I forgot to remind her last night and prep her for today. I remembered she had a session today at 7:30am. I literally went to my parents room to alert my mom about the session. She wasn't happy with me, but I have learned to brush these quips aside because I am juggling way too much! I no longer feel guilt, as I am one person juggling three people, a cat, a house.... and everything else!
Today my dad's memory care center was sending me emails about his blood pressure and pulse. Seriously...... what do you expect me to do about this? I corresponded with them all day, trying to figure out why his pulse was so elevated! Given my dad has a pacemaker, it keeps his pulse between 60-100 beats. So the fact that they got a reading of 113, made me suspect! But okay, another thing to keep track of!
On a complete aside.....Did you know that trees communicate? Literally I came across this article today, How do trees communicate!? Scientists have discovered that there are an intricate network of hair-thin fungal filaments called mycorrhiza, which in many ways act like a telecommunications network. This network uses chemicals, hormones and even slow-pulsing electrical signals to communicate under ground. The communications can be about danger, pain, and in need of nutrients!
Toward the end of the article, it mentioned that trees are "reluctant to abandon their dead, especially when it’s a big, old, revered matriarch. This suggests that Mother Trees are highly valued in forest societies, and are remembered long after they've gone." This to me speaks to the power of grief and loss. It is not just a human concept. It is a universal feeling that is experienced by any and all living things. Certainly the symptoms of grief and loss look different, depending on the creature we are talking about.... for example if you are an elephant, this animal may gather around the deceased elephant, investigating and touching the body with it trunk, and covering the corpse with soil and branches, or what about the dolphin? Dolphins may carry their dead calves for weeks, touch them, and swim around them as if trying to rouse them.
What this article reminded me tonight is that so much goes on underneath the surface! We can't see it, but that doesn't mean the feelings aren't there! This is exactly what happens with grief, loss, and trauma! People can't necessarily see our reactions, our symptoms, and our feelings. In fact, they may think we look perfectly fine. But if you take the time and try to empathize and put yourself in someone else's shoes, you may catch a glimpse of the reality.
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