Tuesday, April 15, 2025

Tuesday, April 15, 2025 -- Mattie died 790 weeks ago today. 

Tonight's picture was taken in April of 2009. Mattie celebrated his 7th and last birthday in the hospital. As you can see, Mattie received a ton of balloons. It was a day filled with presents, games, friends, and of course cupcakes. You would think that spending endless days in a hospital was hard. Certainly it was in the beginning, as I had to say good-bye to freedom and privacy. Not to mention that we lived on the edge constantly managing Mattie's medical care. But despite all of that, we met amazing women in the hospital who cared for us 24/7. They became our medical family and when you live with people for weeks and months on end, you get to know one another very well. I am quite certain that Mattie chose to die at the hospital because he trusted, loved, and knew that his medical family could provide the support he needed. 

Quote of the day: It is always easier to die, simply to give up, to surrender and let the pain die with you. To fight is to keep pain alive, even to intensify it. And this requires courage for which i had only admiration. ~ Louis Lamour

They celebrated my dad's 90th birthday today at his memory care center with cupcakes! The staff told me they can't get over that my dad is 90, as they feel he looks like 70. Very sweet! Everyone sang happy birthday to him and he felt special!

This morning, I stopped off at Lowes and bought a few plants. Since I am hosting Easter dinner at my house, I wanted it to look somewhat springy! I was going to buy flowers, but then decided to get plants. As I can then plant them in my garden! The highlight of my day today was going to the garden store and then planting in the garden. Other than that, it was a hard day. 

When I got home from shopping, I dealt with several tasks. I found out for certain that my health insurer denied my ability to get my MRI tomorrow. However, they did approve it at an outpatient radiology center. So I will need to schedule that scan. I continue to fight my HVAC company because I want them to find a creative solution to the fact that we get NO heat or air on the second floor. All weekend long, the company called me, trying to sell me a NEW furnace. Mind you I did not ask for these solicitations! By the third call, I lost it. I put a complaint in writing and today I called and told the woman on the phone that I wasn't hanging up until she found a manager for me to speak to! Guess what? They understood! Tomorrow a senior technician is coming over and together we are going to figure out what the problem is and they know the solution CAN'T be.... purchasing a new furnace. I am so worn out from advocating and fighting! 

Truly my blood pressure went sky high today dealing with that and then dealing with a gift order I tried to place an order for a child with cancer. Mattie Miracle granted him a wish and he asked for gaming gift cards. All I can tell you is the order wouldn't go through and then Amazon shut down my account. In all fairness, Amazon did the right thing! As I never have purchased gaming cards before and they flagged my order as fraudulent, cancelled it, and then required me to create a new password. I really appreciate their level of security. But remember technology isn't my strength. It took me a while to figure out how to get onto Amazon's customer support. The issue was with me, but then I figured it out and their support team was great. So between this issue, the HVAC system, and my health insurer my head was spinning by 2pm. 

But instead of taking a deep breath and regrouping, or resting, NO, my mom was pacing and wanted to go out. So I felt great pressure. She wanted to stop off at the bank first before getting tea. When I walked into the bank, the bank manager, who I have gotten to know VERY well since my separation, came over to me. She said I looked white as a ghost and not well. She immediately asked me to sit down and wanted to make me tea, because she understood I was dealing with a massive migraine. Truly I have the best bank around. From the bankers to the tellers.... they all know me. I am grateful to have their support, because remember while married I did nothing financial. Not even balance a check book. My learning curve hasn't been steep, it has been monumental. 

As the afternoon wore on, I tried to stay off the phone and email. I needed to get away from all electronics and regroup. After I brought my dad home, I went out immediately to start planting the two plants I bought. I also spent a lot of time cutting back bushes that got snow burned in the winter. The winter has NOT been kind to my garden.

I love Mandevilles! Or trumpet flowers! The watering cans are something that my husband bought soon after we moved into the house. They are Mattie Miracle colors! I put them out every spring. 

I fell in love with this plant today... a clematis. The color is beautiful and I love the vine like nature of this plant. We shall see if it likes my front door flower pot! I have a hard time growing things in this pedestal pot. 

The clematis! I only planted two plants, but it perked me up. Buying plants, schlepping them home, and planting them is hard work. So I can only do things in piecemeal now.