A Remembrance Video of Mattie

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to me that you take the time to write and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful and help support me through very challenging times. I am forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically have stopped writing on September 9, 2010. However, like my journey with grief there is so much that still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with me, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki



July 1, 2025

Tuesday, July 1, 2025

Tuesday, July 1, 2025 --- Mattie died 801 weeks ago today.

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2007. Mattie was five years old. It was Memorial Day weekend and we took Mattie to Dutch Wonderland. I learned about this theme park from moms at Mattie's preschool! They were absolutely correct..... it is a great park for preschool aged children. Mattie had a magical time at this park, and it was there that he experienced his first roller coaster ride. From that moment on..... Mattie was hooked on rollercoasters. On this we differed greatly as I do not like anything with fast motion, up and downs, and turns. But I loved photographing Mattie having a blast. It is a day etched always in my mind. 


Quote of the day: Resilience is very different than being numb. Resilience means you experience, you feel, you fail, you hurt. You fall. But, you keep going. ~ Yasmin Mogahed


Each morning, when I open my eyes, I see this view. This view may not mean much to you, but it means a lot to me. Every photo on the wall, came from my travels over the years. Each captured a special moment in time, with natural beauty in each location we visited. These photos are reminders that...... this was my reality! 

When we moved into this house in 2021, we literally repainted the whole interior of the house. I recall putting up paint samples all over the walls until we found the color we loved, which was called Medici Ivory. I then selected these photos and hung them in the bedroom. The piece of furniture you see here also has a story. When I was living in Boston and going to graduate school for my Master's in Biology (I was in my twenties), I lived in an apartment. I needed furniture! My in-laws gave me a ton of things to furnish my apartment and this piece was ONE of them. My father-in-law found this piece on the side of the road. One of his neighbor's was giving it away. He literally put this piece on top of his car, and it made it to my apartment. I have had this piece since 1991! 

With regards to all my photos, I remember one blog reader telling me months ago, that the blog has highlighted our DAILY life together since Mattie was diagnosed with cancer in July of 2008. Each blog posting highlighted our journey, our teamwork, and our special bond. As my blog reader said..... the photos speak for themselves! INDEED they do!

The other thing I see each morning when I open my blinds is this glorious butterfly bush. We planted this bush in the front yard. I am a BIG butterfly fan! If you look closely at this photo you will see at least six to seven monarch butterflies hanging about this bush! 



The other day, the article, entitled, If you’ve ever cried while listening to music alone, psychology says you likely have these 8 emotional traits, popped up on my phone. No surprise, since I am always talking about songs on this blog and how they speak to me. I am not a big crier! Fortunately, because if I was, I most likely would be sitting in a corner, balled up and crying most days. But music is one thing that has a way of cracking my armor, and in so many ways, I feel that some songs just speak to my feelings of hurt, disillusionment, commitment, faith, and love. 

Are you like me? Do you hear a song and it moves you to tears? Does music make you pause, do the lyrics affect you emotionally, and does music get you to stop in your tracks? If any of this resonates with you, then apparently we may share these eight traits..........................

  1. Empathy Runs Deep
  2. You're no stranger to introspection
  3. Sensitivity to beauty and aesthetics
  4. Emotional openness is your norm
  5. Strong connection to past experiences
  6. You have a penchant for solitude
  7. You value emotional expression
  8. You're a deeply feeling individual

As this article mentions, "this strong connection to past experiences is more than just nostalgia. It’s about your ability to feel deeply and remember vividly. It’s about the richness of your emotional tapestry and the depth of your life experiences." I would say that throughout my life I am very aware of the fact that I feel things more deeply, observe and absorb other people's feelings and emotions, and my mind makes a memory of these exact feelings. In fact, how I remember places, restaurants, and people is not necessary by the factual information, but more about the EMOTIONAL response I have from these connections or experiences. My mind is filled with a database of countless feelings! Which may explain why getting divorced is crushing. Not only crushing, but has rocked my foundation to the core. 

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