Friday, July 4, 2025Tonight's picture was taken in July of 2009. We were in the outpatient clinic, by the art table. That day, Mattie created Dr. Crazy Hair! Leave it to Mattie. This doctor came to the inpatient unit with us (and filled up Mattie's 2x4 of a room) as well and eventually to our home! Dr. Crazy Hair came with many items in his pocket, including a shell that Mattie said was a patient's toe nail! Truly you had to love Mattie! I absolutely LOVED his smile and so grateful his buddy, Brandon, was there (in the background) and part of the fun. I can't imagine our life without Brandon in it, as he understood Mattie and was a great big brother to him!
Quote of the day: During difficult times, an important resiliency step is being able to express your feelings in healthy ways. You can’t make feelings go away, but you can move through them. ~ Al Siebert
This morning, I was texting back and forth with my mother-in-law. She wished me a happy 4th and in the process reminded me of the time she and her mom visited us in Washington, DC on Independence Day. She recalled that we got glow sticks and I remembered we formed the sticks into numbers..... 2000! It was the millennium and an exciting point in history!
From her memory, I went into an instant panic! What was I panicking about? I worked myself up into a silly because I couldn't find the photo of all of us with the glow sticks! I can picture it in my head and I know it is somewhere in my cabinet of photos, but where? This was before digital cameras (thank goodness things are digitized when Mattie came around because it helps me to keep me organized). I strongly dislike when I do NOT have access to memories! My reaction is not in line with the issue, which then led me to think and conclude that freaking out over a missing photo had more to do with the trauma of not having my husband. As he was an important part of my memories! If he were here, I have no doubt we would have found the photo quickly! Any thing that involves memories now and not having access to them, makes me terribly upset.
In the process of looking through stacks of photos today (in my non-existent free time), I found this one. This is three generations of women. Me, my mother-in-law, and her mom! I remember this day perfectly! The whole family came out to Los Angeles and stayed with my parents during Christmas of 1998! At first I did not remember the year and neither did my mother-in-law. But I worked the issue, and remembered that my nephew was 2 and my niece was 6 months old.... making it 1998! Life seemed incredibly happier then! This was WAY before I knew about childhood cancer or the personal heartache of betrayal and abandonment.
I really wouldn't know it is July 4th today! The garbage truck came at 7am, my neighbor's gardeners were making a racket at 7:30am, and then Jessica came to clean the pool. I am having a major issue with one of my backyard gates. I knew I had to address it but guess what? To my surprise Jessica called her supervisor and today they fixed the problem without bothering me! They just let me know they identified the problem and corrected it! DEAR GOD..... someone who does something without me asking! This was my July 4th miracle. I was so touched by their efforts, that I wrote management a THANK YOU email!
Later in the afternoon, I took my parents out for frozen yogurt. We go to this shop weekly. We know everyone who works there. In fact, the manager and I share the same birth date! She actually remembered my birthday from last year, and reminded me about that today. She and her whole family really look out for me, and they are so kind to my parents! The second July 4th gift. No matter how down and out I may feel, I never forget kindness or acknowledging it!
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