Sunday, June 22, 2025

Sunday, June 22, 2025

Tonight's picture was taken in June of 2009. This was Mattie's second 7th birthday party. His actual birthday was celebrated at the hospital. But then my friend Christine hosted a special party for friends in her backyard. One of the highlights was a Reptiles Alive show. As you can see, a snake was introduced to Mattie. If you don't know this, then let me assure you I HATE SNAKES! I am deathly afraid of them. My fear, only inspired Mattie's bravery! Mattie had no problem touching this snake, whereas I was screaming! This moment in time was so iconic, that Mattie's cancer buddy, Jocelyn, gave Mattie a stuffed animal snake, name Sunshine (to commemorate this photo!). Sunshine remains with me, and hangs overhead in my closet. It is the only snake I can tolerate!

Quote of the day: Two people, who were together once, are now strangers because of a pillar called betrayal. This is perhaps the saddest thing. ~ Warsan Shire

We had three guests today for lunch! The lady standing directly between my parents is Valerie. Valerie was my dad's assistant from 1979 to 1984. Though they only worked together five years, they were very close. My dad was the best man at her wedding and I was the flower girl. Valerie lives on the West coast and she traveled East with two of her friends, Amina and Connie. I am so glad she reached out to visit with us!

For the most part, my dad does not remember Valerie. I worked on jogging his memory all week. I prepped Valerie for my dad's Alzheimer's and she was great with him. She still calls him "boss." But don't think she can't hold her own with him. She is bright and quick on her feet. In my dad's hay day, he could be challenging to work for, but Valerie knew how to manage him! So they were a great team. Valerie and her friend, Amina, are also 911 operators. Hearing some of Valerie's stories were fascinating and truly you have to admire people who have the fortitude to handle such crises and chaos over the phone!

We spent six hours today eating and chatting. Thankfully these ladies can talk and hold conversation, because they provided a lot of good stimulation for my dad! 

Ironically after a full meal and time together, do you want to know the first question my dad asked me after our guests left...... when are we eating? 

Alzheimer's is very frustrating to me. I have gotten used to my dad NOT remembering anything I cook. No matter how hard I work, nothing stays in his head. In addition, I know that by tonight he won't even remember seeing Valerie. 

Today's meal:

Coq au vin

Mashed potatoes

Ginger carrots

String beans with mint and lemon

I did not realize it, but today was Amina's birthday. Apparently lemon cake is her favorite. I had NO IDEA. It was just happenstance that I made a three layer lemon cake! She was thrilled, and I learned ever since Mattie was born to always keep birthday candles in my home! You just never know when they come in handy! 

The ladies just loved the house. It is always fascinating seeing the house through another person's lens. I know what I love about it, but it is interesting to see what others notice. 

When we bought this house in 2021, I had such grand hopes! This was our first house together, and after living in an apartment all our married life, this was going to be a new chapter, another adventure. 

This house is the perfect entertainer's house! I figured we would have many parties here and lots of Foundation events! If I only knew how my life was going to change, I would never have moved. 

Valerie never met my husband and doesn't know the story of Mattie's death or that I am now divorced. In a way, it was an odd feeling for me NOT talking about either! I did not bring up all this heartache today, but that doesn't mean it wasn't on my mind. Valerie's friend, Connie, is in her 30s. She can see what I balance alone and she asked me in the kitchen..... what would I like to do if I had the time? Do I see myself going on a trip? Doing something else? My answer to her simply was.... I HAVE NO IDEA! I see myself doing nothing. For me, my life is over, and I go through the motions for my parents.