Tonight's picture was taken in September of 2008. It was Mattie's first month in the hospital. All the rooms in the PICU had a window like this into the hallway. It felt like a prison, as the room was the size of a shoe box, and this type of window did not help the overall feeling of being trapped. That evening, Peter blew up rubber gloves and Mattie did a turkey show through the window for nurses and anyone in the hallway. Mattie's nurses learned early on that Mattie was full of energy, life, and had quite a sense of humor.
Quote of the day: Forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. ~ Lewis B. Smedes
This is the second morning I have woken up and found myself faced with an anxiety attack. I truly think facing my reality each day, is mentally and emotionally taxing. So I am not at all surprised that coming to consciousness evokes panic. Indie, my cat, was particularly attentive today, as if she knew something was wrong. After I fed her, she followed me upstairs and back to my bedroom. Instead of moving to the next task of taking a shower and getting myself dressed, I instead sat on my bedroom floor, and decided to pet Indie for five minutes. Ironically that was therapeutic, and after I pet her, my heavy chest and feeling of anxiety passed. THANK YOU INDIE!
By the time I was ready to go downstairs, I noticed my mom wasn't up yet. Since she is the one who insists on getting up early each morning, I was concerned. So I went into their bedroom. If you saw her today, you would never have guessed she has COVID. Her congestion is practically gone, she doesn't have a cough or fever. I think starting Paxlovid EARLY helped her dramatically. My dad has been fever free since Saturday, but still has an occasional cough.
It was a day of phone calls and rescheduling all sorts of appointments. My dad was supposed to have his kidney stone procedure this Wednesday. His surgeon cancelled it. The scheduler wanted to push my dad's procedure off until the end of October. I said NO! My dad can't keep those ureter stents in for a month and a half, especially since he already has a urinary tract infection. Any case, she checked with the surgeon, and he agreed with me. So my dad's surgery is now September 24. Of course, one problem led to many others. His change in surgery date meant that I had to cancel two of my own doctor appointments.
Though I continue to test negative for COVID, my doctor did prescribe me Paxlovid, in case I do develop symptoms. She understands that I am my parents sole caregiver and have a lot on responsibilities on my plate. I appreciated her medical support, because I think what adds to my fears right now is getting sick. If I get sick, I don't have Peter to back stop me. It is Vicki and Vicki alone.
This afternoon, I went back at the six hour virtual training course I started yesterday. I am happy to report that I completed the course and got six more hours of continuing education toward the 40 that I need to renew my licensure in December. Needless to say, I have another 13 to do, and will begin another six hour course tomorrow. The course I just finished was down right fascinating. The lecturer made the content real and easy to process and understand, and she armed me with information that helps me personally moving forward.
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