Monday, June 3, 2024Tonight's picture was taken in June of 2004. Mattie was two years old. That week we drove up to Boston and Connecticut to visit Peter's family. Peter's grandmother was in the hospital and we drove to visit with her. Gladys and I were a lot alike. Both fiery, could be blunt, but we both love our family. Gladys loved interacting with Mattie and like me, she had a sweet tooth. I brought her all sorts of goodies and served it to her on a plate that came from Mattie's birthday party (which she liked!).
Quote of the day: I’d rather love a million times and have my heart broken every time, than hold a permanently empty heart forever. ~ H.C. Paye
Though I understand the context of tonight's quote, I am not sure I agree with it. Right now I would settle for an empty heart, because frankly I am quite tired of the heartache. Empty and not hurting sounds good! But that ship has sailed for me.
This morning, I set my alarm to go off at 6:15am. Fairfax County was coming to do an inspection of the new furnace I had to install a few weeks ago. On an aside, anyone who is debating whether they should become a home owner or not, YOU SHOULD SPEAK TO ME FIRST! I can help you with that decision! Any case, I was alerted to the fact that at 6:15am, I would receive an email from the County informing me the two hour window the inspector would be coming to my house. At 6:15am, I learned he would be coming from 7:45am to 9:35am. Which meant, I had to get up immediately and start the morning process.
The inspector was at my door at 8am. He was a lovely fellow, talked me through what he was doing and even showed me how to turn the gas off in the house. He made the process easy and approved the work on the spot. One issue down!
I am grateful he came early, because starting at 9am, I have to tend to my dad, get him to his memory care center, and then manage my mom (who is still sick!). Therefore, it was a blessing he arrived at 8am! Thank you David!
My parents are both quite depleted. I think what is happening to me is taking a toll on them mentally and physically. My mom is down for the count (and I just contacted her lung doctor), and my dad is moving even slower and is more disoriented than ever. In fact, when in the car this morning to head to his memory care center, he literally asked me.... where are we going?! Dear God give me strength.
My friend Jen, who I went to graduate school with in Boston, sent me this photo today. She was running near the Angel memorial in Woburn, MA, and she passed Mattie's stone. I had it placed there in 2016. I will share the story below about this memorial. But I was touched that Jen thought of me and Mattie today. Keeping Mattie's memory and legacy alive are my life's mission and I am grateful to friends who share my passion. Thank you Jen!
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiib4Q8TXZu2KRqf2RGMWXAJM_L1vH73cU4wnOXy-GsCKNTpg0HimtIwG93biFsw__M1sv2itoHaivC4QQqZrqOP-D0IfWWotWcufFT78V0I_g8vgQkWxP6NI4huriAfAkftxA7NKHlBKfQSPdVoakd7sfLx9NFKQ0ZeJX2vjLuTp6MjJAL2l7kXHSezrKw/w300-h400/15590503_409001212764272_3846780458757473486_n.jpg)
This photo was taken in December of 2016. Peter, Sunny, and I visited the Angel of Hope statue in Woburn, MA. I had come across this statue in the summer of 2016, and I knew immediately what this angel was all about. Mainly because I read the Christmas Box, a wonderful book by Richard Evans. In the book, his main character visits an angel statue like this one in the cemetery and we come to know that the grave she was visiting was her daughter's. It was a very powerful book and a book that resonates with parents who have lost a child. Ironically I read this book way before Mattie developed cancer and died!
From Evans' book, parents all over the country started an Angel of Hope campaign. You can find Angels like this one pictured throughout the US, I knew this but never actually saw one until the Summer of 2016. That summer I was focused on finding out who to contact to get Mattie's name added to the Angel of Hope memorial. This led me to Maureen Webster, who spearheaded the angel project in Woburn, MA. Thanks to Maureen, Mattie is now represented with his own paver, as you see.
Mattie's paver is located within this Angel of Hope memorial!
Three things I am grateful for:- David the inspector coming at 8am.
- Literally everyday I celebrate when everything is working in the house!
- Receiving Jen's photo!