Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2008. Peter and Mattie bought a new addition to their Christmas light display, a Christmas Scooby Doo! However, before the dog made it outside, it spent some time in Mattie's room. Based on the picture and how Mattie was sitting, I can tell that he completed his first limb salvaging surgery of his right arm. But the picture was taken before the second surgery, in which part of Mattie's right leg, left arm, and left wrist were replaced with prosthetics and a bone graft. The spark in Mattie's smile was still evident here, however, as the surgeries continued, along with the treatment, Mattie's spirit and body showed definite signs of sadness and pain.
Quote of the day: As a boy I thought of heaven as a glorious golden city, with nobody in it but angels, and they were all strangers to me. When my little brother died, then I thought of heaven as that great city, full of angels, with just one little fellow in it. Then my acquaintances began to die, and the number of my friends in heaven grew larger. But, it was not until one of my own little ones was taken that I began to feel a personal interest in heaven. Now so many of my friends and loved ones have gone there, that it seems I know more in heaven than on earth. Now, when my thoughts turn to heaven, it is not the gold walls I think of - but the loved ones there. It is not the place so much as the company that makes heaven seem beautiful. ~ Unknown
I selected this quote tonight because it reminds me of a conversation I was having with my friend, Alison this week. We spoke about spirituality and connecting with God after the loss of a child. I told her I imagine for parents who have lost a child, God and religion becomes a more black and white issue. Rather than shades of grey. As many of my readers know, I struggle to understand why God allows children to develop cancer, suffer through horrific treatments, and of course die. There really is no answer to such a complex set of questions, but when your life is turned upside down, and your child dies before you, you begin to question and examine everything. Mainly because NOTHING makes sense anymore, even things that you freely accepted before without question. However, I can also see the other end of the continuum. I can see that a loss of a child could potentially bring parents closer to God. I am not sure I could rationalize that before, but over lunch, we talked about the importance of there being a heaven because otherwise, what would that mean about Mattie's life? That his life ended at age 7? That he died in pain and that is it? In many ways, religion not only guides us here on earth, but it also helps us try to come to peace with the death of a loved one. It is much harder to accept death as a finality, rather than as a transition to an eternal life. I am not sure where I am with all of this, but when I read this quote tonight about heaven, it reminded me of my lunch conversation on Monday.
It snowed today in Washington, DC. For my readers in other parts of the country, you are either saying, how nice, or so what! Well in DC, a one inch dusting of snow can wreck havoc on the entire city. Panic ensues, and somehow people forget how to drive. Literally! This is one aspect about living in DC that I do not care about, which is why I dread snow in this town. Though I grew up in New York, I learned to drive in Los Angeles (where I attended high school). So I have to admit, I have NO idea how to drive in the snow. I met up with Ann today and she had the pleasure of driving with me because her car was being repaired. There were two spots in particular where I had trouble slowing the car down, since we were sliding on the snow. So while I was driving, I was getting coached on how to stop a car under these conditions. It actually could have been another episode from our ever growing adventures of Lucy and Ethel, but I must admit I find the whole snow thing unsettling.
Ann and I had lunch together and then we moved in two different directions since her children were released from school early because of the snow. Her children are on different campuses, so I dealt with one campus, and she dealt with the other. Despite my fear of snow, I managed quite well today. Driving a four wheel drive vehicle helped as well as moving slowly.
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