Mattie Miracle Walk 2023 was a $131,249 success!

Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation Promotional Video

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to us that you take the time to write to us and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful to us and help support us through very challenging times. To you we are forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically stop writing on September 9, 2010. However, at the moment, I feel like our journey with grief still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with us, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki and Peter



The Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation celebrates its 7th anniversary!

The Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation was created in the honor of Mattie.

We are a 501(c)(3) Public Charity. We are dedicated to increasing childhood cancer awareness, education, advocacy, research and psychosocial support services to children, their families and medical personnel. Children and their families will be supported throughout the cancer treatment journey, to ensure access to quality psychosocial and mental health care, and to enable children to cope with cancer so they can lead happy and productive lives. Please visit the website at: www.mattiemiracle.com and take some time to explore the site.

We have only gotten this far because of people like yourself, who have supported us through thick and thin. So thank you for your continued support and caring, and remember:

.... Let's Make the Miracle Happen and Stomp Out Childhood Cancer!

A Remembrance Video of Mattie

December 13, 2010

Monday, Decmeber 13, 2010

Monday, December 13, 2010

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2008. Only TWO months before Mattie was diagnosed with cancer. When I look at this picture it almost seems impossible to believe that inside that cute body was a disease that had already taken an aggressive hold over Mattie. I recall the day this picture was taken. It was a Friday afternoon. Peter got home early from work, and Mattie was very ready to do something. So we took him on a Potomac River cruise. Mattie enjoyed that day, and another family on the boat trip snapped our picture along our journey. I am so happy they did!


Quote of the day: Did I love you? Surely yes. Did you know? Absolutely. Was it enough? Never. Is it over? Yes, forever. Will it end? Not ever. I bid you goodbye and love you still, dancing in the joy of what we had. Crying in its loss, praying for your soul. Not knowing if you need it. But believing it is a link. ~ Clarice Hausch


I received an email this morning from my friend, Charlie. Charlie mentioned how our radio station has been having a St. Jude's radiothon for the past two days (from which the station raised over $300,000 for St. Jude Children's Research Hospital). Ironically, neither one of us could really listen to it this year. You would think since I lived this experience, that I would be thrilled that such publicity and fundraising was happening on the air for pediatric cancer. My answer to this is partly. I suppose in many ways the radio and the tv have become modes of escape for me. Therefore, when I am hearing cancer stories and crying parents on the radio, I find this disconcerting. For two days, I lost one area of my life which I usually turn to for a diversion, free from cancer.

This morning was one of those days where Mattie's death hit me. Bluntly stated, it is hard to see pictures of Mattie healthy and then reflect on the fact that his little body was cremated and all I have left of him is his ashes. It seems too surreal at times to believe that this happened to Mattie and to us. Yet the lack of his presence forces me to accept the impossible.

As I told my friend Alison today, I was happy we actually met for lunch. She forced me in a way to get up and out. At lunch Alison and I talked about many topics, and over lunch she gave me several meaningful gifts. One gift was a beautiful glass butterfly, which I plan on using as a suncatcher. Butterflies mean a lot to me, and therefore as I look at this butterfly this winter, I will be thinking of Mattie. The second gift was an origami Santa. Origami cranes became a symbol for Mattie in the hospital. His IV pole and room were filled with praying cranes, thanks to our friend, Junko and her mom. So today's origami Santa immediately reminded me of Mattie, and I placed this fellow right next to Mattie's ashes, because it just seemed like the right place to put Santa. The final gift was a beautifully scented candle, but it was the name of the candle that caught our attention. The candle's name was "comfort and joy." Alison felt like I needed both of those things. When you think about it, Alison has shared with me HOPE, comfort, and joy. Seems rather symbolic. Many of my readers may recall that the first time Alison met me in the Hospital, she took off the necklace she wore around her neck, and gave it to me. The message on the necklace was simply stated, with one word, HOPE. I wore that necklace each day that Mattie was alive, until the day he died. Alison's gifts were very meaningful to me, but the true gift is her friendship. We laughed and cried and basically covered many emotions together at lunch. But as Alison reminds me, I am still grieving, and grieving the loss of a child doesn't stop after one year. VERY TRUE, and I appreciate her openness to talk about things that aren't always easy to talk about.

I received a lovely e-mail tonight from my friend, Carey. Carey's daughter is Lauren, a 13 year old who is an osteosarcoma survivor. Lauren and Mattie were diagnosed about a month apart from each other. Some of my faithful readers may recall that Lauren is the young lady who came up with the innovative and creative program at her middle school entitled, Bows for Hope. Lauren sold hundreds of bows last year, and the proceeds raised from this incredible project went to the Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation. On Sunday, Lauren and her family attended the Candlelighter's Tree Lighting Ceremony at the National Post Office Building in Washington, DC. Some of you may recall that we went last year to this ceremony and we had to leave early, because I landed up in tears. This year, like last year, we had a gold bow placed on the tree in Mattie's honor. However, last year, I never could find it on the tree. A tree which has hundreds and hundreds of bows on it. Filled with names of children who have/had cancer. This year, Carey immediately found Mattie's bow and she sent me a picture of it! After Christmas the bows are mailed to the parents of the children. I use the bow I got last year as my bookmark. That bow means a lot to me, so much so, that when I was flying from Los Angeles to DC in October, and lost the bow on the plane, I basically tore my row and the row behind me apart until I found the bow. I appreciate Carey sending me this photo, and I am happy that Mattie's memory is alive and well on this tree. Though if I had a choice, I rather have him than the bow any day.

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