Monday, October 14, 2024

Monday, October 14, 2024

Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2004. Mattie was two and half years old and his first preschool (which he only lasted at for two months) organized a field trip to Butler's Orchard in Maryland. Given that this school did not understand or appreciate Mattie, there was NO WAY I was going to let him go on a field trip without me. So I went as a chaperone. It was a rainy and damp day, Mattie seemed to have developed a cold during the trip, yet despite that he loved the hay wagon ride and the opportunity to pick his own pumpkin from the patch. I snapped this priceless photo and the one thing I got out of that preschool was that I was introduced to Butler's Orchard, a place we ventured to each fall and spring with Mattie. 

Quote of the day: The worst thing ever is seeing your best friend slowly replacing you with another friend. ~ Unknown

This morning, I got up early, because my mom had an in-home physical therapy session. I am noticing this year, that she is having a much harder time dealing with the morning hours, and getting ready in time for morning appointments is challenging. I literally have to herd her, and mind you I am already juggling my dad. 

Of course during my mom's therapy appointment, my dad had bathroom issues. I spend more time each day cleaning him and the bathroom than I care to report. I thought things would have gotten better post-kidney stone surgery, but in many ways they have gotten worse.  

Once that appointment was done, a few hours later, my mom had a virtual appointment with her rheumatologist. This doctor oversees her bone density and Prolia injections. Naturally if it involves technology, rest assured, I am going to screw it up. We couldn't see the doctor and she couldn't see us, but we at least could hear each other on my phone. Of course if Peter were here, I know he would have figured this out the issue....one, two, three. There are many things I miss about not having my husband around. Not just for chores and tasks, but for moral support, to share the load, and there is a special feeling knowing that you have grown up with someone, and share a history. A person who has seen me in the good times and the horrific times, and yet through it all we were bonded by love, commitment, and respect. These are the things that motivate me in life, they keep me grounded, and make me feel more secure, and allow me to have a better outlook about my future. With Peter gone, each day I feel like I am teeter on top of a cliff. If I survive the day, then it is one day down. 

After the virtual appointment, my parents were hungry and my mom did not want to stay home. I decided to push through my comfort zone and take them to a new restaurant near us, The Carnegie Deli. It opened up in the summer and I have driven passed it numerous times. 

I am always hesitant to try new places with my dad because I do not know how the service will be and most importantly, I worry about the bathroom availability and location within the restaurant. Again, this may not sound like a huge deal, but for me trying something new with my parents is miraculous. 

This is one of the rooms in the Deli. It has wallpaper of Carnegie Hall in NYC. When my dad was 11, he performed on the stage of Carnegie Hall, so this was a good mental moment for him. We discussed his performance, his love of the saxophone, and he recalled the feeling of what it was like to be up there under the bright lights. 

One thing we quickly realized.... my dad still loves deli food. He ate up a storm today. We haven't seen him eat like this in weeks! 

The diner is bright, airy, intimate, clean, and our waiter was lovely. My mom told me when she was living in NY, she ate at the original Carnegie Deli. Which got us into a discussion of delis in NYC. I remember going to a deli with my parents called Wolf's, when we used to visit NYC. So this conversation got my dad thinking and reflecting! Which is a positive thing!

The deli was decorated for Fall, and to me it is a great space for someone with dementia, as it truly orients one to the season! They were playing 80s music, and I could see people all around me bopping their heads and feet to the music! I grew up with 80s music, so I felt right at home. Ironic how music can evoke so many thoughts and feelings. 

Now this may be my favorite spot of the deli. All the cakes and pies come from their New Jersey store. My mom and I shared a chocolate mouse cake that was amazing..... not heavy and not too sweet. 

Sometimes moving out of my comfort zone is a disaster, today's adventure turned out to be a positive one for all three of us.