Saturday, June 6, 2026

Saturday, June 6, 2026

Tonight's picture was taken in June of 2005. Mattie was three years old. This kiddie pool came from my former mother-in-law. All the grandkids used it and Mattie loved it whenever we visited Boston. So she gave the pool to Mattie to take home. I can't tell you what our deck, outside our apartment, used to look like! We had the sand box, the pool, and toys on it. But this made Mattie happy and he loved his outdoor time. Even as a baby, Mattie was calmer and happier being outside.... regardless of the weather. So it was through Mattie that I learned the beauty of being surrounded by nature. 

Quote of the day: If you consider yourself a victim, you are not going to have a good life; if, however, you refuse to think of yourself as a victim–if you refuse to let your inner self be conquered by your external circumstances–you are likely to have a good life. ~ William B. Irvine

Are we a product of how we grew up? Are we influenced by certain norms in our formative years, and therefore these norms guide our lives? In my case the answer is YES! I had the opportunity to chat with the manager of our local diner today. I have gotten to know her over the last couple of years. She is younger than me and has experienced many life lessons. Here's the conclusion we have from our experiences.... we both feel that women need to be coached at an early age to be financially independent. Even if married, they need their own money, their own accounts, and to truly adopt the philosophy that they have to be independent from their spouse. 

I grew up in a traditional household. That said, my mom was a working professional, got a higher education (which was rare for women in her age bracket), and has a strong personality. Yet it was my dad who paid the bills and dealt with all the financial headaches of life. Naturally I learned a great deal from my parents, but unlike them, I am not a numbers person. Therefore, they sheltered me from the financial stresses of life. When I got married, again, I brought that traditional mindset into my marriage. I stayed out of the finances, because I deemed that as not my strength. But that was a big mistake. It was a mistake that I was treated as inadequate and even a bigger mistake to accept that pronouncement. 

What I have learned from my divorce is many painful things. But first and foremost is that I will always be in control of the finances. I will always know what is coming in and out every month. I hope to never, ever, relive the last three years of my life and it will take me some time to feel a level of financial stability and safety. 

At the end of the day however, I continue to wonder will I ever feel better? Will I ever feel more emotionally stable? I miss being married, I miss having a spouse, and most of all I miss who I deemed was my closest ally and friend. It leaves many, many holes in my life and as I learned with Mattie.... some holes can never be filled.

Friday, June 5, 2026

Friday, June 5, 2026

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2004. Mattie was two years old. That weekend we took him to the National Arboretum. By the entrance they had this wonderful water feature filled with koi. They sell food for the koi, so we thought Mattie would be interested in seeing the fish eat. As you can see, Mattie did not want to feed the fish himself. He left that to me, because he was unsure how to feed the fish or how they would come up out of the water to eat. So though I was not a nature buff, I learned to become one with Mattie! As you can see, Mattie was intrigued by the koi and was watching the whole process closely!

Quote of the day: No matter how bleak or menacing a situation may appear, it does not entirely own us. It can’t take away our freedom to respond, our power to take action. ~ Ryder Carroll

My dad's nurse visited this morning at 10am. She is helping me manage my dad's wound care. We have been managing two pressure sores for months now. It is a vicious cycle in which the pressure sores look like they are healing one day and then the next day they are open again and bleeding. I am working around the clock on wound care and I can't tell you the countless number of foam wound care bandages I have bought in two months. Medicare only provides a VERY limited number..... try a box of 10 bandages, which they expect will last me ten days. I can go through a box of 10 in a day and a half. Mainly because where the wounds are located, the bandages get messed up and pull away from the skin multiple times during the day. 

After that appointment, I dropped my dad off at his memory care program, and went grocery shopping. While checking out, my favorite store employee was there and I said hello to her. Frankly given her reaction, I assume most people don't greet her or chat with her. I do every week! I know about her mom and dad, and I always do a check in on how they are feeling. Today, before I left, she told me she had the weekend off and was going to try to have a more relaxing two days, away from people! I think when you work in the service industry, of any kind, you absorb other people's stresses, demands, and even not such nice behavior. I heard her and I said to her.... I appreciate you, you do an excellent job here, and I look forward to seeing you each week. All I can say is you would have thought she won the lottery. She was so thankful for what I said. 

As I was driving home, my mind was swirling with all sorts of emotions. When I am in the are alone (the only place I can be alone .... when running chores), the feelings of my many losses typically hit me. I am at a traffic light, waiting for it to turn green, and my eyes were filled with tears. I happened to look over to the car next to me, and there was a man, staring right back at me. At the same time, we smiled at each other. It was the smile that flipped an emotional switch in me, from tears, to once again, experiencing the kindness of another human being. 

I then visited our local bank today. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my bank. I know the managers and all the tellers. Literally I walk in and I am greeted with.... hello Victoria! One of the tellers cares for her mom, who is in her eighties. I have been following her mom's saga with knee surgery and her recovery for months. But in our conversation today, the concept of kindness and humanity came up. The topic of losing our humanity came up! My problem is I always look for the good in people. I can make excuses for bad behavior and try to understand each person's plight in life. But what I notice (for the most part) is when you act human.... listen, show kindness, compassion, and understanding.... people usually can rise to the occasion and reflect these beautiful traits right back. 

All these interactions today, inspired me to get the courage to come home, focus, and process through mortgage assumption paperwork. Ironically, the two people I could always count on in my life to give sound advice are no longer able to help me. Therefore, even doing mortgage paperwork reminds me of my many, many losses.  

Thursday, June 4, 2026

Thursday, June 4, 2026

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2004. Mattie was two years old. That day we took Mattie to the National Mall. When we lived in the city, the Mall was literally blocks from our home. It was the best location! If I could erase the last five years and could have remained in that location, my life would be so different now. What I love about this photo was that Mattie was ALL business. He was literally propelling me forward because he was eager to get to the reflecting pool, where all the ducks congregated. Those were the days and I am quite certain while in that moment, I had NO IDEA how lucky I was, and how DRASTICALLY life would be altered. 

Quote of the day: The secret of the care of the patient is in caring for the patient. ~ Francis Peabody

My parents had their cardiology appointments today. My dad sees this doctor every six months and my mom, once a year. We LOVE this doctor. He is close to my age and he is Italian. Given our common backgrounds, he gets along splendidly with my parents. I met this doctor in 2022, when my dad was having issues with his vitals. His pulse would drop to 40 and below, when exercising and moving about (a normal pulse is 60 - 100). Given the severity of my dad's issues in 2022, his primary care doctor got us an appointment with a cardiologist the very next day. That was when we met this amazing cardiologist. You want to know how much time he spends with us at each visit? Try an hour! We got in at 11am and he literally talks to us through part of his lunch break! A very unique, compassionate, and highly competent physician. If we could only clone him. We have gotten to know about his wife, his children, we have followed him along his weigh loss journey, his training for a marathon with his daughter, and even about his summer plans. Any one who thinks that relating to a patient like a human being doesn't matter, has never been a patient. In fact, the way doctors make us feel is directly related to how effective we feel the medical care is being provided.

Today the doctor was telling us about his family's summer plans. I listen to this man talk about his love of his family and what he does to ensure their happiness and I wonder..... how lucky his wife is! How is it that I did not meet him or someone like him? NO ANSWERS, but ONLY MORE QUESTIONS.

Meanwhile, I have anxiously been awaiting my MRI results. Thankfully they came in today and nothing was found. Another year down! I do not take such good news lightly, because I learned first hand with Mattie how life can change in a second, after just one test! I truly do not know how I could handle being sick or incapacitated because I balance so much in any given day. I am the rudder on our broken down ship!

But of course any good news in my life is always followed with another problem. On my doorstep today was a two inch package from the bank. I am so sick of paperwork, legal mumbo jumbo, and financial stress. I have gone from a woman who did not pay a bill, to a woman who is handling bills, medical expenditures, credit card fraud, a divorce, lots of lawyers, and now trying to assume my mortgage. It is beyond hateful and just when I think my life will stabilize, another nightmare falls onto my plate. I feel like I am being tested..... how much can one woman take? I guess we will find out. 

Wednesday, June 3, 2026

Wednesday, June 3, 2026

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2003. Mattie was one! My parents were visiting from Los Angeles and we took Mattie to the Reston Zoo! Back then, I lived in the city, so going to the Reston Zoo was a good 40 minute drive. But it was worth the trip. It was the perfect Zoo for Mattie. Truly geared toward younger kids, with the opportunity to have a hands on experience with feeding the animals. Mattie had several encounters with the goats and as you can see by Mattie's big smile.... he LOVED it! 

Quote of the day: Because that’s what kindness is. It’s not doing something for someone else because they can’t, but because you can. ~ Andrew Iskander

I got up earlier than usual today because I had to get my dad to his memory care center by 10am, so that I could get on the road and head into town for my MRI. Last year when I took this test, I literally was so ill after it, I couldn't leave the radiology center for an hour. My head was spinning, I was very dizzy, and nauseous! So I had no idea what was in store for me today and even worse, my mom insisted on coming. I tried every which way to convince her to stay home, but my mom has always been the kind of person who doesn't like missing out on what's going on around her. Now that feeling has been magnified by ten. 

The traffic was moving this morning and I got to the testing site early. My mom and I went inside and once I was called to go back, I reminded my mom that this test could be anywhere between 20-40 minutes long. The tech who worked with me today was Aggie. She was charming, kind, and very professional. I told her about my dizziness and illness last year and this piece of information was important to her, as it altered how she got me off the scanning table at the end of the procedure. 

I have endured countless MRIs in the past! As a chronic migraine sufferer, you get used to many brain MRIs. I never got dizzy and nauseous with any of them. But I think a breast MRI is different, or at least it is for me, because of the position. I am face down, with pressure on my sinuses, head, and rib cage. In fact, after being on that scanner today, my ribs hurt terribly now. But as soon as she got me on the scanner and my head went down on the table, the dizziness started! In fact, my whole head felt like it was spinning out of control. I had to endure the test, so all I did was I tried to breath and calm down. But when dizzy and my head is spinning, it is very easy for my anxiety level to rise exponentially. 

Aggie kept me posted every step of the way and having information while lying still and in a machine is a blessing! She could tell I was anxious, as my breathing rate was super fast, which can also alter the images. She encouraged me to calm down. Rather funny.... when you tell someone to try to calm down, guess what happens? THE OPPOSITE! But I rationalized that I had to pull it together and I managed through the scan in 30 minutes. 

Once the scan was over, Aggie came back into the room. At that point, she instructed me to move very slowly. In addition, once I was upright, she wouldn't let me leave the scanning table. Instead, she had to get used to being upright and made me drink a bottle of water. I do think moving slowly, drinking fluid, and also pre-medicating myself with Zofran (an anti-nausea med) made a huge difference. I was still out of it, but I could function. 

When I went back out to the waiting area, my mom was a nervous wreck and apparently had asked the front desk staff several times..... where I was? I assure you her anxiety adds to my stress level, and I was already stressed over this test. I then got my mom into the car and I had all the windows down. I was scheduled to meet a Foundation donor in the parking lot right after my test. This donor was kind enough to meet me to pick up a raffle item she won! I have never met this donor before, but she has been a contributor for 17 years! So I truly wanted to thank her and get to know her. Despite telling my mom that I would be right near the car, that I was meeting a donor for a few minutes, and then we would leave..... she got confused. In fact, she tried calling me four times while I was chatting. I did not have my phone out, and it was on silent, so I did not know she was calling me. But I was literally 20 feet from the car. When I got back to the car, again, my mom was very stressed out. She was hot and she did not have the wherewithal to open the car door, or even get out of the car. As you can imagine, this was why I wanted my mom to remain home. 

I took my mom out for tea today and while at Starbuck's, a customer commented on the headband I was wearing. She loves headbands too and literally we got to talking. So much so that she pulled up a chair, sat with us, and we chatted for about thirty minutes. Hysterical no? We learned about each other's lives, and I told her about Mattie Miracle! Since I wear my wedding ring, she assumed I was married. When I told her that I was recently divorced, you want to know her response (keep in mind I told her nothing about the circumstances)? She said, the problem is NOT with you! This woman does a lot of volunteer work and interfaces with the community constantly. She views herself as a good judge of character. Frankly I think she is part empath! She reads feelings in others very well. In any case, she said to me that she just met me, and yet can feel my kindness and was so impressed that I took the loss of Mattie and have tried to help other children with cancer. She also said I am easy to talk with and I have a very loving vibe. I will never forget meeting Diana, and before she left, she wished me happiness and to find someone who will really appreciate me. Kind thought, but NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. I am done with romantic relationships period. 

When I got home with my parents today, I was planning on working on the Foundation's 17th anniversary video. But my friend Denise wrote and suggested I spend time outside. Given the day that I had, I followed that advice and went outside for an hour to do yard work and weeding. That is my therapy!

Tuesday, June 2, 2026

Tuesday, June 2, 2026 -- Mattie died 848 weeks ago today.

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2005. Mattie was three years old and had recently picked out his first bicycle. I absolutely loved our commons space in the city. It was fully enclosed, so there were no cars or strangers walking around. In this space Mattie learned to walk, run, play with our neighbor's dog, fly a kite, bicycle ride, blow bubbles and even drive Speedy Red! It is a space forever etched in my mind, and I am quite certain if we never moved, my life would look very different from how it does now. 

Quote of the day: And here you are living despite it all. ~ Rupi Kaur

Last night I was so strung out from a three hour long mortgage call that I couldn't cook dinner. My mom was a nervous wreck and I thought she was going to be physically ill. I do not only absorb my own stress, I also take on all the issues my parent's face. It is a lot for one person. It takes great strength, determination, and courage to manage all that I do alone. Any one of my issues would send most people over the deep end, I have all these issues going on at once, and I do not have the time to have a break down, as I have two 90-year-olds relying on me. 

While on the mortgage call, the question always is... what do I do, and what is my income? Hot button questions for me! I have devoted my life, after Mattie died, to running Mattie Miracle. I have used my education and therapeutic training to build this Foundation from the ground up! I am a one woman show.... I do the administration, correspondence with donors, fundraising, all the legal paperwork, financial reports, and the list goes on! Do you want to know how much I have earned from my 17 years of work? NOTHING, $0! I have nothing to show for my 17 years of work, nothing that would mean anything to a bank! The bank doesn't care about me helping 35,000 children, 2,500 families a year, and the list goes on! I have to say it is a humbling reality! But a reality and a choice that was made, because I was married. I did not have to focus on an income. But if I had a crystal ball and knew that one day I would be divorced, then I would have made different decisions altogether. Decisions that would have given me independence and a financial future. I swear I could take this learning lesson on the road to educate young woman. I now tell every young woman I meet... always, always, always have your own bank account, save money, and only YOU should have access to this account. It is a cynical way of looking at the world and at relationships, but if someone really loves you, then they will understand your desire to protect yourself!

Today was a day with two nurse visits.... one a neurology nurse, who is tracking my dad's December 2025 brain bleed, and the other who is helping me with pressure sore care. I have been dealing with my dad's pressure sores for months now. Just when I think they are sealing up and healing, they open up again and start bleeding. It is a vicious cycle, which constantly reminds me.... I am NOT in control of this situation, or any situation for that matter! 

Tomorrow, I am headed for an hour long breast MRI. I do this annually as I am high risk for breast cancer. This is one test I absolutely hate, as you do it face down in the machine. But there is something about this particular testing location, because the MRI magnets impact my head. After an hour in their MRI room, I am dizzy, have a migraine, and I am nauseous. I do not get this reaction at the hospital, but given that my insurer requires me to pay a high fee for this testing, I choose this location because the out of pocket cost isn't thousands of dollars (like it would be at the hospital). Any case, tomorrow, I am pre-medicating myself with my migraine anti-nausea meds and I hope this will help me. Needless to say, any time I go for testing of any kind, I am acutely aware that my life and health can change with one result. The biggest problem however, is I no longer have my other half, my emergency contact. Getting a divorce from the one you love, has life long, daily, and dire consequences. I am reminded of this constantly, over and over again, and the pain never seems to dissipate. 

Monday, June 1, 2026

Monday, June 1, 2026

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2005. Mattie was three years old and he took part in the creation of this step stool! Mattie was very proud of his John Deere tractor themed step stool for the bathroom. Do you know to this day, I still have this stool? It sits in my office and I occasionally even use it. I am surrounded daily by Mattie's things and creations, but despite all these wonderful things, they do not take the place of having his presence in my life. 

Quote of the day: In the end, just three things matter: How well we have lived. How well we have loved. How well we have learned to let go. ~ Jack Kornfield

It has been a very long day! I literally had a three hour long phone call this evening that was mind numbing. I can't tell you the inordinate stress that I am under as I work hard to assume my house's mortgage. 

My morning started by taking my parents to the eye doctor. This is an exam that frightens my mom to no end. I have learned that I can't let her do any sort of testing without my presence. So I literally jumped between my mom and dad's exam room. But today, we worked with a different assistant. This woman was patient, kind, and compassionate. She understood that my mom had fears, so she explained everything she was doing, gave positive feedback and made my mom feel at ease! Guess what? My mom had a much more relaxing and successful visit! It goes back to what I always say..... It is Not just about the medicine! Any good medical provider knows this and lives out Mattie Miracle's tagline! Unfortunately our healthcare system doesn't reward patience and compassion, therefore I think over time, these vital psychosocial attributes get squelched right out of the professional. 

I am signing off for today, as I am filled with too much anxiety and stress to write much more!

Sunday, May 31, 2026

Sunday, May 31, 2026

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2005. Mattie was three years old. That weekend we took Mattie to a botanical garden. The garden had wonderful fountains. Whereas I may have liked the look of the fountain or the sound the cascading water made, what cause Mattie's attention was always what was in the fountain! Mattie got me to look at the world and everything in it in a different way and his presence and energy are deeply missed. 

Quote of the day: By the darkness, stars are revealed. ~ Evette Carter

Do you see Mattie Moon? A glorious moon was shining brightly into our home the other night. Literally I thought a car's headlights were shining into our home, that was how bright it was! But when I went to look, sure enough, it was Mattie Moon reminding me..... he's thinking of me and looking out for me!

Later this afternoon, I got back outside and transplanted my Sunny hibiscuses back into these big clay pots. I bought these hibiscus in 2024, the year my Sunny died. They are a tribute to an amazing dog and companion. I had no idea that I could bring these plants into the house and winterize them there, but I learned this from my former mother-in-law. So literally I dig up these plants in the fall and put them in pots inside the house and then in the spring, I dig them out of their winter pots and put them in these beautiful clay pots. So far I have been able to keep these beauties going for two years! They produce the most glorious big yellow sunny flowers! 

I am NOT an orchid person, my other half was. He had many orchids thriving in our family room. I unfortunately killed most of them off, except for this one. To my amazement they are now shooting out stalks which means I will be getting blooms. I literally can't believe I got this to happen! 

I took my parents out to our local diner today! When I tell you I know practically everyone who works there, I am NOT kidding. Our server treated my mom and me today to this 24 layer chocolate cake. This was an out of the blue surprise, which maybe the best kind. 

While at the diner, the Peter Cetera song, the Glory of Love, came on. For those of you who read my previous blogs know that this song transports me back to when I was in high school, as I heard this song in the movie, the Karate Kid. A movie that was transformative for me, as just like the main character I too was uprooted from the East Coast to California. Ever since high school, whenever I would hear the song, The Glory of Love, playing, it usually was a sign that a good thing was about to happen. Sounds strange I am sure, but I have countless examples to prove my point. Any case, tomorrow, I am faced with doing another challenging task that isn't in my comfort zone, and I am hoping that this song will bring me the luck and strength that I need. 

Saturday, May 30, 2026

Saturday, May 30, 2026

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2005. Mattie was three years old. That weekend, we took Mattie to a special butterfly house at the Smithsonian. It was a magical moment being in this enclosed space will all those marvelous butterflies! Ironically whenever we went to a butterfly house, a butterfly would always land up sitting on Mattie. He loved it! Of course, now whenever I see a butterfly, I take it as a special visit in nature from my Mattie! These moments typically occur when I most need them!

Quote of the day: Life chips away at us all. Some play the victim. Some choose to be a survivor. And then there are those who choose to conquer. ~ Author Unknown

It is hard to imagine that it is 8:45pm! Today has been an absolute blur. It was a non-stop laundry day.... five loads processed and put away. The linens on my parent's bed needed to be totally changed today and given that my dad uses 20 pillows to prop him up at night, it is a big job. I am tired and disillusioned, so not much else to say today! May tomorrow be a better day!

Friday, May 29, 2026

Friday, May 26, 2026

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2006. It was Memorial Day weekend and we took Mattie to Sesame Street Place in Pennsylvania. I learned about this theme park through Mattie's preschool. It is geared toward preschoolers and since Mattie LOVED Elmo, he was very excited to visit. While at the park we bought Mattie an Elmo balloon! But then a life sized Elmo was walking around and he gave Mattie another balloon! As you can see the park has a photo op of the classic Sesame Street green door and steps, seen on every episode! It was a weekend I will never forget. 

Quote of the day: You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength. ~ Marcus Aurelius

Today is like my last straw! I have so many issues and problems now stacking up all around me. However, I feel until I manage this mortgage assumption, everything else is on hold. Clearly my life isn't complicated enough, so why not throw more on Vicki. 

While working on my computer, I heard tapping! At first I thought it was my mom upstairs, but then I realized.... NO! It is a woodpecker! I am a big nature person, but this bird is driving me crazy! Look at the big holes he is making!

This is when I want to scream! I lost my life partner, who I could turn to, and together we would take on these challenges. These holes are located right near my outdoor stairs, making it impossible to get on a ladder and fix the holes and perhaps put a bird deterrent in the area!

See the stairs! I even tried to open my office window to stand on the ledge to deal with this problem, but don't you know it.... the window is sealed shut. I can't open it! It is stuck! Literally it is the story of my life, a life that I am left to balance alone. 

Some days, I am so so angry, and all I can say is that fortunately I am not a violent person, because I can absolutely understand how emotions could take over when someone is so deeply hurt!

Any case, I was chatting with my former mother-in-law, and we have devised a scheme. I bought a water soaker (you know the ones kids use), and I plan on filling it with water and vinegar. When that bird starts pecking, he will get doused! I have to change his behavior, so that he pecks a tree and not the house! Until I correct his behavior, it makes no sense in filling the holes! Seriously since 2023, I have faced just about every possible crisis and unfortunately the issues just keep piling up!

Thursday, May 28, 2026

Thursday, May 28, 2026

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2006. Mattie was four years old and that week we transitioned him from his crib/day bed to a real twin mattress. Mattie was thrilled and was so proud to be in a "big boy" bed! Mattie and I picked out sheets and he selected Bob the Builder! Of course we got other sheet sets along with way, but Bob the Builder was his first. Mattie was so happy about his bed that mid-day he jumped into it with his clothes on!

Quote of the day: Your problem is not that you can’t take it. You are taking it. You have been taking it. You take it every day. ~ Cheryl Strayed

It was another early morning! Today I had to take my dad for an echocardiogram. His last one was two years ago, and since we see the cardiologist next week, the office wanted this data on hand. I am cognizant that my dad has been diagnosed with early stages of heart failure. I tend not to dwell on that and I certainly haven't conveyed that information to my parents, because this would be pointless information for them to worry about. 

Given that my dad injured his back during his hospitalization two weeks ago, it is very difficult getting him up on a table for a scan or in this case a sonogram of the heart. Today's tech was young and truly had NO APPRECIATION for older adults who live with chronic back pain. The tech wanted my dad up on the scanning table and to turn on his side. I basically told the tech that wasn't going to happen. I really think health care professionals think at first that I am exaggerating.... that my dad can do more than I am telling them. Then they see my dad move and immediately they get what I have been telling them! Any case, my dad was moaning in pain throughout the sonogram today because his back was hurting on the table. I had his back propped up and his knees bent, but it did not help. The tech wouldn't help me move my dad so I did it alone. Fortunately I know how to do this, but what if I didn't?

As soon as I got my dad back into the car, he had a bathroom accident, so I had to head straight home to clean him up, change his wound care, and give him Advil for pain. Later today, I got outside into the backyard to beginning weeding. With all the rain we have been having, the weeds are out of control! I spent two hours out there but it is like holding back the ocean. 

While outside, I had two turtle encounters...................................

This is a box or painted turtle! This fellow was just sitting by my garden gate. It was rather funny because it was almost like he wanted me to open the gate to come out!

This is a wood turtle! A rarer turtle to find in one's backyard because they typically like living near water. The distinctive mark of the wood turtle is its pyramidal shape of the plates on its upper shell! This turtle was large, about the length of the brick!