Tonight's picture was taken in March of 2009. Mattie was in the child life playroom and this Wii video game was set up for him. It was a competition between him and his nurse, to see who could do the better yoga pose! What you may not understand by looking at this photo was the fact that Mattie was unable to walk or truly stand independently because of his limb salvaging surgeries. So though this was a game, it was also part physical therapy. It was amazing sight to see how gingerly Mattie moved in order to achieve this pose and how determined he was to participate!
Quote of the day: The most difficult wounds to heal are those whose scars go unseen to the eye. They are marks upon the soul that you carry through existence until it becomes your master… or you become theirs. ~ Madison Chase
This morning, I was greeted by a message from a friend. She is reading a book about heartache, and one of the passages described the author's trip to a tea shop. The author was discussing her anxiety and her non-stop focus on the dissolution of her marriage. However, when she went into the teashop, her goal was to use her senses and absorb the environment around her, in order to have a mental break from her anguish. Literally my friend took snapshots of the pages she wanted me to read.
In any case, the author recounts for her reader the experience she had in the teashop, how she was concentrating on her teacup, savoring the fragrance and the taste of the tea and the flavor of the muffin she was eating. She also observed the people coming and going into the shop. She was noticing what they were wearing, the colors on their clothes, and the sounds they were generating by walking passed her. What was the purpose of this sensory experience? It was a simple mindfulness technique that can be used anywhere! You don't need 30 minutes, you don't need a quiet space, you don't have to be out in nature, you just have to BE!
Normally, if someone tells me to mediate, be mindful, or relax, they are going to be met with either a look from me like they have two heads, or I will verbally push back on you. Stillness, quiet, calm, and relaxation are NOT words to describe Vicki! Therefore asking me to be "mindful," is like asking me to run my nails along a chalk board! It isn't going to happen.
However, the way this author described her experience within the teashop resonated with me. It wasn't like she was discussing mediation, what she was highlighting to me was one of my favorite coping mechanisms.... DIVERSIONS AND DISTRACTIONS. Except these distractions were very intentional and involved concentration. I am okay with that and I liked this passage I read so much, that I plan on trying it when getting tea with my mom.
Anyone who has experienced heartache of any kind knows how all consuming it can be. It is like a vicious cycle, you are constantly thinking about it, it invades your mind, body, and spirit. The more you try to avoid it, the more pervasive it is. Which is why the author's point about taking breaks from this chaos is important, and I would imagine as these breaks become more successful and familiar, the hope is that the angst, anxiety, and sadness the heartache produces lightens over TIME, MORE TIME, and MORE MORE MORE TIME.
All of this may sound hokey or it may interest you. But focusing on the senses is a proven mindfulness technique for handling anxiety, by taking someone out of their panicked thoughts and bringing them into the moment. It also helps interrupt rumination, when your brain decides to gnaw on one particular thought for longer than is necessary. If you are like me and on the fence about this, think about the examples below with hearing, touch and sight. Will any of this slow down our overloaded brains? I don't know, but it is easy and worth a try.
- Hearing --Focus on one sense at a time. Hearing maybe one we first gravitate to, so for example imagine making a cup of tea. Listen to everything—the whisper of the boiling water, the clank of the spoon as you put it on the counter, the splash of the water as you pour it into the teacup, and the splat of the teabag as I drop it into the cup. By paying attention to the sound of things, it can cut the mind chatter that rattles through our heads.
- Touch -- Pay attention to your feet as they touch the ground is a common technique, and a very effective one to help ground yourself. Going back to the cup of tea, you can also notice the feel of the cup in our hands and the heat from the tea as you drink it. If you’re wearing something comfortable, paying attention to the clothes against your skin (something you don’t even think about, usually) can be surprisingly centering.
- Sight -- We’re constantly focused on sight to get around, so it can be tricky to be mindful of it since it’s a perpetual stimulus. But one thing that can work is focusing on colors. You can focus on one color at a time, noticing all the red things in a room, for example. Or you can notice each color in individual objects—a blue cup on a white counter, next to a silver knife with a black handle. Observing colors helps you notice things, instead of skimming past them, which helps keep you in the present moment.
