Saturday, September 24, 2011Tonight's picture was taken in September of 2008 on the playground at Mattie's preschool. Mattie's preschool wanted to support us during Mattie's cancer diagnosis, and scheduled a special play date with Mattie's preschool buddy, Alex. In this picture you can see Mattie and Alex on the tire swing. I recall many days on this playground when Mattie was healthy and happy. Some days it is hard to believe that these days actually existed, Mattie was part of our lives, and that we were parents.
Childhood Cancer Facts of the Day: 15% of children are diagnosed with anxiety (DeMaso & Shaw, 2010).
We went to a community play this afternoon entitled, Shooting Star by Steven Dietz. The premise of the story is.........
Snowed in overnight at a middle-America airport, college lovers Elena Carson and Reed McAllister have an unexpected and life-altering reunion. Elena has stayed true to her hippie-ish, counter-culture path, while Reed has gone predictably corporate and conservative. As the night gives way to laughter, banter, remembrance and alcohol, Elena and Reed revisit a past that holds more surprises than they imagined—and a present that neither of them could have predicted. Filled with laughter and ache, SHOOTING STAR is a bittersweet romantic comedy about the middle days of our lives, and how we got there.
This play was 90 minutes long without an intermission. It also had only two actors in the entire play with a bare bones set of a waiting lounge in an airplane terminal. The play had great potential but in the end it was disappointing. Perhaps I have high expectations for people, or maybe I have the confidence that if given the right opportunity and reflection, we as human beings have great potential and will do the right thing. That did not happen in this play, the same dysfunctional communication pattern this couple had with each other in the 1970's (which entailed keeping secrets and a total lack of honesty about thoughts and feelings) remained true today. To me the play was in a way depressing. It was depressing because it really illustrated that people can't or won't change behaviors, even if these changes would produce greater happiness for the individuals in questions. It makes me wonder why we are so afraid to tell those in our lives that they are important to us, that without their presence are lives would not be as rich or meaningful? Certainly if these two characters could have done this in the play, it would have changed their outcome. In that sense the play made you analyze human interactions and why we protect ourselves from being vulnerable with those closest to us.
On my nightstand today I found a snail shell. That may not seem odd to you, but the snail shell is a direct reminder of Mattie. Peter went for a walk this morning and came back with a snail shell in hand. He did not tell me about it, he just simply left it on my nightstand to find. When Mattie came to visit my parents, he loved finding snail shells. In fact, he even named a snail living in my parent's garden, snaily! So as soon as I saw the snail shell on my nightstand, I knew this was a message. The message in essence was that Mattie was with me and thinking of me. It is ironic how simple components of nature to you, may speak and represent volumes to me. It is within nature that Peter and I both feel most connected to Mattie. Needless to say, snaily's shell is coing home with me to Washington, DC. 
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