Tonight's picture was taken in January of 2008. We took Mattie for a walk on Roosevelt Island that weekend. We used to walk the Island often. It was practically in our backyard and made us feel like we were escaping the city. Since Mattie has died, over time, we visit the Island less and less. I am not sure if we are making a conscious decision to do that, but I do know during the first year of Mattie's death, Peter went to the Island every weekend morning. I think the Island helped us connect with Mattie early on. But with time, Mattie has become defined within us, not so much through our physical space.
Quote of the day: The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart. ~ Helen Keller
It has been the most uncomfortable four days for me. As I am still running a fever and not myself. The antibiotics weren't working, so I knew I needed to see the doctor today. I honestly did not have the energy to drive anywhere much less cook or do anything for myself. I was fortunate that Peter decided to work from home to help me, because I couldn't have managed without him. In line with what Helen Keller was talking about I think beautiful things are not only felt from the heart, but are seen during times of stress and illness.
One of the things I have learned through Mattie's cancer battle is that Peter and I have been there for each other in times of great stress, heartache, and sadness. Such devastation can either break a marriage or strengthen it. For us, we continue to find ways to manage and cope together with what life has dealt us. With that said it is very evident that when one of us becomes sick, even with a cold or flu, we get upset. It is hard to see one part of our remaining unit shut down and because of what we lived through, there is always fear involved as to when things will get better.
I have one more day to recover before deciding if I am traveling to the Foundation's think tank on Wednesday. It is my hope that tomorrow is a better day because it would be a shame not to be able to see how all our plans for the think tank have unfolded.
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