Tonight's picture was taken on April 4th of 2009. Mattie's 7th and last birthday. Mattie celebrated his birthday in the hospital and several of his closest friends came to visit him and celebrate the day. Surrounding Mattie were from left to right, Abbie, Zachary, and Charlotte (Campbell was also present, but you just can't see him in this photo). Each of Mattie's friends were helping to open up gifts and to make the day as memorable and fun as possible for him. Remember as healthy children they could all run around and be kids. Mattie on the other hand could barely move, yet his close friends learned to find a way to make this work and keep Mattie included.
Quote of the day: Life is difficult. Not just for me or other ALS patients. Life is difficult for everyone. Finding ways to make life meaningful and purposeful and rewarding, doing the activities that you love and spending time with the people that you love - I think that's the meaning of this human experience. ~ Steve Gleason
It was a beautiful sunny day in DC. As you can see our daffodils are out in full force. Peter went out to photograph them today. They certainly give our commons area a springy feeling.
It is an adjustment to be home and I find that it saddens me to know that Mattie's birthday has passed, that Mattie's friend Jocelyn has died, and that I continue to have headache pain. Pain which doesn't seem to ever want to go away. My neurologist says I need patience, that I had pain for 12 years, that pain doesn't just go away over night. My expectations are low. Because I don't plan on it going away period. If I should get so lucky, I would deem this as a medical miracle. I don't believe in those any more.
Daffodils to me are a happy flower, not unlike the sunflower. Happiness is certainly needed in our lives. Birthdays to me are now very unhappy occasions. Especially Mattie's birthday. The birthday of a child signifies that the child is growing, maturing, and hitting another milestone. I see it in Mattie's friends, I hear it in the reflections of other moms as they talk about their children. Unfortunately I do not get to see it within Mattie. Some may view me as stuck, angry, bitter, hostile, or you name it. I have heard it all. Naturally I think it is very easy to label me, it is safer that way. Blame me! But at the end of the day I think it is very hard to walk in my shoes and am thankful that most don't.
I end tonight's posting with what I entitle, "Happy faces!"
1 comment:
Vicki,
Have you read "The Fault in Our Stars" by John Green? It is a couple of years old, but I just finished it the other night. If you have read it, I was just wondering what your reaction to it was.
Thanks.
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