Mattie Miracle Walk 2023 was a $131,249 success!

Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation Promotional Video

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to us that you take the time to write to us and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful to us and help support us through very challenging times. To you we are forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically stop writing on September 9, 2010. However, at the moment, I feel like our journey with grief still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with us, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki and Peter



The Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation celebrates its 7th anniversary!

The Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation was created in the honor of Mattie.

We are a 501(c)(3) Public Charity. We are dedicated to increasing childhood cancer awareness, education, advocacy, research and psychosocial support services to children, their families and medical personnel. Children and their families will be supported throughout the cancer treatment journey, to ensure access to quality psychosocial and mental health care, and to enable children to cope with cancer so they can lead happy and productive lives. Please visit the website at: www.mattiemiracle.com and take some time to explore the site.

We have only gotten this far because of people like yourself, who have supported us through thick and thin. So thank you for your continued support and caring, and remember:

.... Let's Make the Miracle Happen and Stomp Out Childhood Cancer!

A Remembrance Video of Mattie

April 7, 2014

Monday, April 7, 2014

Monday, April 7, 2014

Tonight's picture was taken in April of 2009. We were home between hospital visits. Though these were moments I typically did not capture on the blog, these were more typical moments than the happier times typically portrayed. There were many unhappy, sad, depressing, sickly, upsetting, and overwhelming times that we lived through at all hours of the day and night. Mattie not only was dealing with cancer, he also had profound disabilities that needed to be managed and cared for, which together made for an absolutely challenging, scary, and exhausting combination 24 hours, 7 days a week. Some families couldn't wait to get discharged to go home, I on the other hand found going home daunting because there was no medical team and other social supports to help us around the clock with IVs, medicines, and pain management.


Quote of the day: The marks humans leave are too often scars.John GreenThe Fault in Our Stars


One of our blog readers left me a comment today asking me whether I have read John Green's book, The Fault in Our Stars. I have to admit as of last year, I had no idea who John Green was, I don't feel too badly about that, after all, I am not a parent any more and I am not raising a young adolescent. However, my 16 year old friend, Isabel, introduced me to The Fault in our Stars. In fact, she lent me her book, and I admit to reading the first few chapters. I haven't finished reading the book yet. This is not a commentary on the book. This is a commentary on the way my mind works now. I read various books all at one time and depending upon my mood, I book hop. I was never like that prior to Mattie developing cancer, once I started a book, I wanted to finish it, and it would never have dawned on me to begin another one, without completing the one I was reading. All that has changed! 

The funny part about The Fault in our Stars is now that Isabel has introduced me to it, it seems like many more people have placed it on my radar scope to read. Not just teens but adults as well. I have to admit the chapters that I read captured my attention because the dialogue between teens regarding their cancer diagnosis, the fears, thoughts, feelings, and candor seemed quite accurate. Especially the out of touch banter in the support group, which caused me to bob my head up and down in frustration. The book introduces many readers to, osteosarcoma, since one of the teens in the group had bone cancer. Besides exploring the inner world of cancer from a teen's lens, it is the story of finding love, understanding one's self, finding courage, and appreciating the healing power of the human connection. At some point, I look forward to reading the rest of the book, and truly being able to respond to the question posed to me today.  

This week, I begin my annual kindergarten art class at Mattie's school. I started this back in 2011. Donna, a teacher at Mattie's school reached out to me to have tea in the Fall of 2011. Donna was not Mattie's teacher, but she was quite familiar with him, since Mattie's classroom did many activities with Donna's class. Over tea, Donna and I chatted about various things and Donna wanted to know what things interested me in order to bring me back into the classroom. Donna knew I was a teacher by training and also knew that I was active in Mattie's classroom when he was in kindergarten. I am not sure if Donna really thought about this at the time, but in many ways, Donna inviting me into her class is really a gift. It is the only real time I get to spend with children now. In my mind Mattie will always be 5 years old and in kindergarten and when I interact with Donna's children, it reminds me of the days when Mattie was back in school. 

Back to that day we were having tea........Well one thing led to another, and the topic of impressionism came up and the kid's story book entitled, When Pigasso met Mootisse (http://www.amazon.com/When-Pigasso-Mootisse-Nina-Laden/dp/0811811212/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1396921883&sr=1-1&keywords=when+pigasso+met+mootisse) was mentioned. Donna told me she always wanted the children to learn more about Picasso and Matisse, more than what they could gleam from the story book. So literally with that, I went to the library, did a ton of research, developed power points and basically created curriculum for five and six year olds. NOT my age group as an educator, but I did it!  

I have had the honor of working with Donna for four years now. I teach the children over three weeks. The first week, is always a bit rocky, because they are not used to my style. I lecture! Not unlike at the university. So they have to sit and listen and pay attention. I use slides and ask them to participate. Then there is always a hands on activity where they get to create, followed by a snack. It is a three step process with me. By week three, they totally get it, and you just wouldn't believe how much information they retain! I remember teaching at the university level, retention was low from week to week. NOT true with five year olds! They are like sponges!!!! So my next three Wednesdays will be busy, and in preparation for my busy Wednesdays, I always go to school on Tuesday afternoons to set the class up properly so we can hit the ground running on Wednesday morning. With that age group you have to have all your ducks in a row. Otherwise chaos can ensue and you really want to make this a fun, educational, positive, and memorable experience for the children. As Donna always tells me, there are children she meets now who are in third grade who are still talking about the time they learned about Matisse and Picasso in her classroom. Which makes us both smile! 

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