Tonight's picture was taken in March of 2003. Mattie was 11 months old and it was his first plane trip ever. We took Mattie to Los Angeles because I had a professional conference to attend there and my parents were going to spend time with Mattie while I went for the day. I snapped this photo of Mattie. I happen to love it! You can see his excitement over the camera.... he was going to reach out and grab it from me.
Quote of the day: Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you. ~ George R.R. Martin
Today I returned to the George Washington University. I haven't been there in YEARS. When Mattie developed cancer in 2008, I left and never returned. However, in the beginning of February, I was asked to be a reader for a dissertation and to serve on this young women's dissertation defense. Which is basically a two hour meeting in which questions are fired at the doctoral student about his/her original research. The student has to defend her study and is evaluated on her cogent answers.
I met Elaina, the student in question, years ago. She sent me an email because she heard about me most likely from her advisor. Elaina wanted to hear about my experiences with childhood cancer and the Foundation and mentioned that she was interested in working with this population and conducting research on parents whose children have cancer. So I connected Elaina with the co-leader of our Standards project at NIH. Which is who Elaina landed up working with and also this is how Elaina captured data for her dissertation. So as Elaina said, I was meant to be on her committee from start to finish.
I know all too well how challenging it is to capture data and it literally took me TWO YEARS to find an agency that would allow an outsider in to assess their services. So when you as a student find someone who can help you, they are a God sent. However to be honest I graduated in 2003, and I haven't really be involved in the dissertation process since then. So when Elaina asked me to do this, my first feeling was DOUBT. I wasn't sure I could do this nor sit on a committee with a bunch of academicians. However, tonight's quote swirled around in my mind..... never forget who you are! Who I am is not only a person with a doctorate, a mental health professional, but also a woman who knows first hand the impact of childhood cancer on relationships (which was the nature of this study). I am in essence a subject matter expert and no one can take that away from me. This is the final gift Mattie gave me, and I always try to do something with that gift of knowledge.
I came into the defense today armed with many questions. What I was proud about is that my questions were unique and substantive, so much so, that Elaina's chair of her committee is asking her to add many of the points I addressed in the meeting into her dissertation.
Today made me remember March 10, 2003. My dissertation defense day! This photo was taken after the defense, with my entire committee. The man behind me on the left with the blue tie was Don Linkowski. Don is no longer alive. He died months after his retirement from a heart attack. But Don was special to me, and I have many items of his such as his cuckoo clock which sits in my living room. On the day of my defense before Don started to ask questions, he explained that he was wearing his PANDA POWER tie to bring me luck. I will never forget that!
No comments:
Post a Comment