Tonight's picture was taken in July of 2005. This was Mattie's third summer trip to the beach. By this point he was very acclimated to the sound of the surf and the feeling of the sand on his feet. I love this photo that Peter took of both of us. The ironic part is I haven't seen it in YEARS! I only found it two days ago when searching through our Shutterfly on-line photograph account. I am so happy I found it!
Quote of the day: The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart. ~ Elisabeth Foley
Tomorrow I am going to visit a Rheumatologist. This is a doctor who is qualified by additional training and experience in the diagnosis and treatment of arthritis and other diseases of the joints, muscles, and bones. It would never have crossed my mind to see such a doctor, but I am complying with the suggestion from my physical therapist. Believe it or not, I have been going to physical therapy since the beginning of March, two days a week (so going on five months now). I was prescribed physical therapy by my neurologist who was desperate to try to help me in February, when my body was dealing with a massive amount of symptoms that prevented me from functioning. I will never forget February, nor did I think I would ever return to feeling stable.
The rheumatologist's intake is incredibly detailed and lengthy. It literally took me 30 minutes to complete it. Since Mattie's death, I have been consistently ill and debilitated from one thing or another. Medical doctors do not like to see the connections between dealing with trauma and grief and medical illness, but myself and so many other moms whose children had cancer are walking examples! Needless to say, I have completed MANY intake forms over the past six years, but this is the FIRST one that actually asked about number of children and whether they were ALIVE! Most intakes just ask the number of children you have, and frankly this is a very awkward question for me to answer. Mainly because I always want to say..... I have one child...... yet this one child died from cancer.
1 comment:
Vicki,
I will be thinking of you tomorrow, hoping that this Dr. will be a good listener and help to find ways to make you feel better. I am impressed with your physical therapist for making this recommendation. I am heartened with the sensitivity in the form, you completed for the Rheumatologist. I hope you will share with me how the exam and comnsultation go.
I love the picture of Mattie & you, that was posted tonight. Truly glad you found the picture. You both look adorable. I love your hat.
It saddens me to think of all the physical pain and issues, you have dealt with for years without answers. It also is amazing that
more Drs. don't take into account how serious trauma's in our life impact every part of us.
Margy
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