Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2003. I took Mattie that day to visit a long-time friend of mine. A friend I made when I started graduate school in Washington, DC. This friend even held my baby shower at her home. Mattie liked visiting with her, because she had a dog and always had some fun toys and puzzles for him.
Quote of the day: Today's coronavirus update from Johns Hopkins.
- number of people who were diagnosed with the virus: 1,719,855
- number of people who died from the virus: 101,562
The picture above reminds me of happier times. A time when I was ignorantly bliss to the fact that children can get cancer and die. By the time Mattie was born, I had already known my friend (whose house I am standing in) for 10 years. We were very close, went through graduate school together, and we emailed each other everyday. Everyday for at least 8 years. As I mentioned above, she held my baby shower at her home, and after Mattie was born, she invited me over often so we could chat and she could get to know Mattie. She had an only child of her own, and she was well versed with dealing with bright boys.
When Mattie was diagnosed with cancer, she still reached out, visited us in the hospital, and was even doing research behind the scenes to try to offer me ideas about available treatments. However, as Mattie's cancer continued to progress and it was clear that his case was terminal, I seemed to have lost track of my friend. Honestly I was balancing so much, that at first I didn't notice her absence in my life. However, it was at Mattie's funeral that I remembered.... I did not see my friend in attendance. Nor did she write to me about Mattie's death. I found that very unusual, so about two months after Mattie died, I emailed her. I was convinced that something was wrong, because it was unlike her not to communicate with me under normal circumstances.
Therefore, I emailed her and wanted to make sure she knew Mattie died. She did return my email, but I have to say, to this day, I am still shocked at the response. The response was that her husband and son told her to sever communications with me because my situation was making her ill. That was the extent of the message. This was not someone I casually knew, we knew each other for ten years and went through many ups and downs together. I am not pining over what happened or even dwelling on it. I am just telling the story, a story that tonight's photo triggered. What I learned from this is people you think will be there for you, won't. Friendships you think are unbreakable, are!
Over the years, my friend gave Mattie toys that belonged to her son. I was never quite sure if they were a gift or something she wanted Mattie to borrow. Years after Mattie died, I finally was determined to clean out his room. As the room was a mess and it did not showcase Mattie's creations in a manner fitting of his memory. While cleaning out, I found my friend's toys. I literally boxed them all up and mailed them back to her. After all, they were her son's and I figured she would want them as they were part of their family's history together. This is how our friendship ended and and I have never heard from her again.
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