Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2008. Next to Mattie was the birthday girl, Charlotte. If you asked Mattie who Charlotte was, he'd tell you..... "my girlfriend." Mattie was quite certain he was going to marry Charlotte and also be her college roommate. They met each other in kindergarten and bonded the first day of school. I think they brought out the best in each other. When Mattie was diagnosed with cancer, Charlotte was the first friend to visit him in the hospital. When other parents and children stopped coming to visit as Mattie progressively got more ill, Charlotte kept on coming. Their connection was a true testament to the power of love and friendship.
Quote of the day: Today's coronavirus update from Johns Hopkins.
- number of people diagnosed with the virus: 13,374,162
- number of people who died from the virus: 266,838
What a difference a day makes. I had my mom on Tylenol and Advil around the clock yesterday. The Shingles vaccine hit her hard, but with a lot of rest and TLC, she bounced right back. In fact, my dad's caregiver was very worried about my mom yesterday. She thought my mom was very sick, but given that I am very familiar with the side effects of the Shingles shot, I knew how to help my mom. Naturally, we are all focused on my dad, but my mom's health is equally crucial. Because she is the important piece of the puzzle that enables them to live independently. My biggest fear is that my mom gets ill and she won't be able to care for my dad or herself. Given that I am 2,500 miles away, it isn't like I can get in a car and support them. I feel like we need a crisis management plan in place, if such a scenario plays out. So this weighs on my mind.
You would think while my dad's caregivers are here, that we can take a break! Forget it! When they are here, I am either managing them, working with them and my dad, or running around and doing chores that I can't do when they aren't with us. There is NO break what so ever. I am worn out, and much younger than my mom. So I worry about how sustainable this pace is for her.
My dad's caregiver today said I missed my calling. She feels I should have been a medical doctor. She can't get over how I manage both of my parents and address all their needs, and also advocate for them with health care providers. All I know is I have had a lot of practice interfacing with the medical world, which maybe why I learned a thing or two.
Since Thursday, I have been cooking all meals for my parents. Eating at home is not something they are accustomed to doing and I have been worried that my dad wouldn't eat. So far he has been doing very well with everything I have cooked. But I am worn out as balancing my dad's every needs and also cooking is challenging. When I am here, my mom and I eat at the same pace and we converse while eating. But when I am not here, for my mom its like eating alone. My dad focuses on his food, tunes out, and eats fast. It is hard to see the transformation in my dad and of course I know my mom has lost the partner she once knew. But here's the thing, without going out to lunch, I feel 100% trapped in the house. I can't leave, because my dad really doesn't have the energy to do much after his morning routine of brain exercises and physical therapy exercise. After his caregiver leaves, he sits in his recliner. Then we have an early dinner, and back to his chair he goes. He can't be left alone at home either. As he is fragile and needs help and support to go to the bathroom, and has many other demands that have to be met. So without the ability to go out for lunch, it is like never seeing the light of day.
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