Tuesday, December 29, 2020

Tuesday, December 29, 2020 -- Mattie died 587 weeks ago today.

Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2008. It was close to Christmas and Mattie was admitted to the hospital that day. I know this for a fact because Mattie was in real clothes, not pajamas. Mattie refused to wear real clothes in the hospital. Next to Mattie is Tricia, Mattie's favorite nurse. We met Tricia the first week of Mattie's treatment in August of 2008, and we immediately bonded. She took care of all three of us and since she had children of her own, she had great empathy for what we were going through as parents. Tricia saw us under the worst of times and she advocated for us with other nurses and doctors. Her love, care, and dedication to us will never be forgotten. Tricia is a big Mattie Miracle supporter, and helps us keep Mattie's memory alive.  

Quote of the day: Today's coronavirus update from Johns Hopkins.

• Number of people diagnosed with the virus: 19,526,228
• Number of people who died from the virus: 337,829

Peter left Washington, DC at 4:30am with both Sunny and Indie in the car. Seven hours later he was in Boston. Sunny is borderline anxious and wasn't sure what was happening to him today, after spending 10 days in boarding over Christmas. However, as soon as he went on a woods walk with Peter, he was a happy camper. 

Meanwhile, "Paradise" was hell today. Typically I keep my anger or temper under control, but today I lost it. 

From the moment I woke up at 6am, it was non-stop work, tasks, and demands. My parents both took the shingles shot in November, but insurance covered my mom, but not my dad. So today, my mom and I were on the phone with my dad's insurer. That was enough to smack my head against the wall, but finally found two wonderful women who answered questions and helped us. Turns out CVS did not submit the claim correctly and the insurer is sending us a claims adjustment form! Perfect!!! 

Somehow life here is tough enough but with caregivers underfoot, it can make you want to scream. They are only here for four hours every day, but it is very hard to get anything done when they are here. Of course when they are not here, we really can't get things done either, as my dad needs constant support. 

But today took the cake. One of my dad's caregiver proceeded to tell me that the trash cans are dirty. At first I did not know what she was talking about. So she called me over to the kitchen trash receptacle. She pulled out the trash bag and had me look at the bottom of the can. She did this in the bathrooms too, as she wanted me to see the mess at the bottom of the cans. She noticed this but wasn't about to correct the problem. Instead, she wanted me to! She could see I was juggling a lot this morning, was on the phone, and doing other tasks. Yet apparently I am not doing enough, so why not give Vicki MORE to do!???? I truly was angered by her actions. Especially since if I noticed something, I would just fix it and not bring it to the attention of others who have other things on their minds. To me it is a sign of insensitivity and CONTROL! As this caregiver likes to tell me and my mom what needs to be done or how it should be done in our own home. This type of behavior doesn't go over well with me or my mom. 

By the time the caregiver left at noon, I was ready to blow. Yet I had to cook "linner" (lunch/dinner), do more laundry, collect packages that were delivered at the front curb (500 feet away from the front door) and open them up and dispose of garbage, and the list goes on. My head was pounding and I basically told my mom that this daily schedule is down right insane. At which point she said this is her daily life, and I interpreted what she was saying as.... I am NOT helping enough! I am only here periodically. At which point I lost it, as I am not only balancing travel to LA during a pandemic, but I have a whole other life in Washington, DC that also needs maintenance. FRUSTRATED IN LA!