Tonight's picture was taken in February of 2009. Mattie was having a physical therapy session with Anna in the middle of the pediatric unit hallway. Seriously during that year, I truly believe Mattie got Anna to think WAY OUTSIDE THE BOX, in order to get him to participate in physical therapy. Anna understood that Mattie loved games, competitions, and challenges. But on his terms. This photo shows Anna demonstrating what she wanted Mattie to do! You can see she took her shoe off to show him! Mattie had a beautiful bond with Anna and Anna was an amazing support to me, especially after his extensive limb salvaging surgeries. There were days Mattie did not want to move or we couldn't find a comfortable position for Mattie, when Anna arrived in Mattie's room, things always improved. It is amazing how one competent, kind, compassionate, and insightful person can change your whole day around!
Quote of the day: Where words leave off, music begins. ~ Heinrich Heine
After a long day, I got my parents situated at home, so that I could drive to my therapy appointment. I hadn't been able to go for these sessions in over two weeks. Something always came up and I had to manage either an urgent care visit for my dad or taking my mom to an emergency doctor appointment about her foot. Frankly I have been debating..... why go to therapy at all? So much about my life is out of my control, so what good is talking about it accomplishing? I range about my feelings on this and my answer changes week to week depending upon my mood.
As I was driving to therapy, I was listening to the radio. Something I no longer get to do given that I am shuttling my parents from one place to another when I am in the car. In any case, a song came on called, Tough People! Naturally the title caught my attention and then I listened to the lyrics. Do you think that hearing a song can change your mood? Can make you feel better about your life and situation? Well I do! Music, for me, is very therapeutic. In so many ways music evokes, expresses, and captures emotions that sometimes WORDS can't do! The song, Tough People has many verses, but the chorus of the song is........................
Oh, there's a whole lotta bad in the world out there
Oh, and it's hard to keep goin' when it don't seem fair
Keep on fighting when you're back's against the wall
Keep on getting back up when you fall
Keep on keeping your head held high
'Cause I still believe
Hard work pays off
Good beats evilAnd tough times make tough people
Do I think tough times make tough people? 100%! I am living proof. I have experienced a whole range of issues in my life, not just one, many. Each grief and trauma builds on past losses and traumas. Yet I am still alive, I still care diligently for my parents, manage my entire household, and a run a non-profit. It does take a tough person to have survived many of the things I have endured. Of course being tough sometimes doesn't cut it! I could be as tough as I want, yet being tough couldn't prevent Mattie from getting cancer or dying. It couldn't prevent Sunny from getting cancer and dying, and it couldn't prevent my dad from getting Alzheimer's. But that's the thing, tough isn't about being able to prevent the impossible, it is about finding the courage, persistence, stamina, and HOPE to find a way to live with all the disappointments, all the horrors, and all the losses. So if someone wants to call me a "tough person," I view it as a badge of honor.
The problem with becoming a tough person though is that it is possible in the process to shut out the world and others in it. It is safer that way! It is also a natural reaction to trauma, to feel others can't possibly understand or relate to our thoughts and feelings. It can leave you hardened. So how do I break that hardness? How to do I prevent from shutting down? Again, it depends on the day! Today it was hearing Drew Baldridge's Tough People!
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