Tonight's picture was taken in January of 2006. In a way this photo is a follow up to the one I highlighted last night. Mattie got to take the gingerbread houses that his preschool classroom decorated that day! As you can see the children covered the house in royal icing and all sorts of candy. In so many ways raising Mattie gave me the chance to be a child again. Mattie was thrilled with the finished products and though eating this wouldn't have interested him in the least, he did consider them works of art that he wanted to admire and be proud of.
Quote of the day: There are always flowers for those who want to see them. ~ Henri Matisse
I went to see my friend Mary today who lives in an assisted living facility. I have known Mary for five years now, and we met each other while Mattie was battling cancer. Since her son also battled cancer and died, we have that commonality. What a commonality it is! Some people share a neighborhood, a favorite ice cream, a political party, a religious ideology, etc. But a bond over cancer seems to level the playing field and though Mary and I are different people and certainly a different generation, we always have had great compassion for one another. It has been hard seeing my friend drift away due to her neurological disease.Mary is no longer able to communicate, yet I know she is alert and is taking in everything that is being said.
When I arrived today, Mary seemed tired and out of sorts, but Mary is the classic example of what Henri Matisse was talking about in his quote. Living with a neurological disorder is like hell on earth in many ways. It leaves you unable to walk, move, do any basic activities for one's self, talk, and last but not least comes the inability to eat and breathe. Despite Mary's grave circumstances, somehow listening to me talking today to her and her caregiver perked her up. I try to imagine myself in Mary's shoes and frankly I wouldn't be doing as well as her. Yet on some level Mary appreciates what she has, which is a daughter who visits her daily, a caregiver by her side, and on occasion she takes delight in hearing a conversation. These are her flowers in life.
One of the topics of conversation today was food. Trying to find foods that Mary can eat and swallow. Food is one of my favorite topics, mainly because I love to eat. The more I was talking about food, the more I saw Mary eating in front of me. It just points out that eating is truly a social thing and how we as human beings respond to each other. In this particular way, Mary and I share the same flowers. Our flowers are people! People have a way of certainly bringing us pain, but in those we trust and love, they can bring us great happiness and joy. Happiness even when there isn't much to be happy about it.
I learned that lesson deeply when Mattie was battling cancer. Our network of friends and our different communities came out of the wood work to help us. Some days in the hospital I did not know if I was coming or going, but knowing that there were others out there thinking of us and standing behind us made all the difference in the world. May we all find our own flowers to cling to during life's challenges. Because in all reality they are the only thing that can carry us through.
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