Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2008. Mattie did a lot of playing on the floor in his hospital room. Given that Mattie was battling cancer and therefore he had all sorts of issues with immunity, this wasn't my favorite place for him to be. But he was a child and the room was confining, so we learned to make it work by putting sheets down on the floor. Next to Mattie is Tricia. Tricia was one of Mattie's HEM/ONC nurses. We met Tricia early on in Mattie's treatment and to this day Tricia is an important part of our family. We stay connected and she and her family attend each and every one of our Foundation walks. Though Tricia was Mattie's nurse, she took care of all three of us on a regular basis. She understood Mattie and knew he needed to be a child, that he was very bright, creative, and was presented with many highs and lows. She had no problem getting down on the floor with him and engaging him, as the photo shows. My very first encounter with Tricia was when Mattie was screaming at me in his room during the first weeks of treatment. Mattie was basically hitting me and telling me he hated me. This wasn't a pretty scene to observe or be a part of. Tricia could have easily left the room and had me manage this on my own, but she did not. Instead, she literally supported both of us. She understood Mattie's anger, and most definitely understood the pain I was experiencing since she is a mom herself. She got Mattie to calm down, to stop hitting me, and told him that he really did not mean what he was saying. She then walked both of us to bed, tucked us in, and dried all our tears. A day I won't ever forget. She proved herself to me early on, but her advocacy and compassion did not stop there. It continued throughout Mattie's 14 month battle and exists even today for Peter and me. It is no wonder that Mattie told Tricia one day in the middle of the PICU hallway that he "loved" her!
Quote of the day: No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world. ~ Robin Williams
Today out of the blue I received an email from someone I don't know. A friend of mine referred her friend to Mattie's blog. We are suffering different types of losses, yet a loss nonetheless. This new reader wanted to reach out to me to let me know how much my words meant to her. That my writing resonated with her, she could apply it to her own life, and of course in the process learned about Mattie's battle. All music to my ears. Actually receiving an email like this is why I continue to write each day.
There are times when I would like to say forget it. No more blog writing! It takes time, energy, and emotional resources. Yet I continue to write for personal reasons and of course when I hear that perhaps what I am sharing is helping someone else, this further inspires me. Tonight's blog is rather short because I am not feeling well and can only hope that tomorrow is a better day.
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