A Remembrance Video of Mattie

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to me that you take the time to write and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful and help support me through very challenging times. I am forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically have stopped writing on September 9, 2010. However, like my journey with grief there is so much that still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with me, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki



August 19, 2014

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Tuesday, August 19, 2014 -- Mattie died 258 weeks ago today.

Tonight's picture was taken in March of 2003. Mattie was 11 months old and we took him to Los Angeles. I had a conference to attend in Anaheim and we decided to turn it into a family trip to visit my parents. That was Mattie's first airplane trip! I was worried about how he would handle such a long journey. Mattie did not sleep throughout the entire flight. He was FULLY on and playing the whole time. Fortunately I had my bag of tricks with me. With Mattie you could never travel empty handed. I always had to have books, puzzles, games, legos, and lots of things to keep his mind busy! Without that there was going to be trouble for us and everyone else around us. Unlike me, Mattie did not mind motion at all, but seemed to like adventure and the stimulation of new surroundings and places.... just like Peter. 


Quote of the day: Every person needs to take one day away.  A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future.  Jobs, family, employers, and friends can exist one day without any one of us, and if our egos permit us to confess, they could exist eternally in our absence.  Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for.  Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us. ~ Maya Angelou



I woke up this morning before the sun came up in order to get ready and pack up for my flight to Los Angeles. Before I left our home, Peter told me to come outside to our deck. To my surprise the White Ginger Butterfly Lily had opened up even more than yesterday and with its unfurling also came that intoxicating fragrance that was promised us!!!! When we bought this plant at the Elizabethan Gardens in the Outer Banks, I remember the ground's keeper telling me that the fragrance of this plant was unforgettable. He wasn't kidding. It is a mixture of jasmine and honeysuckle. It is intoxicating and you wish you could just bottle it up! I can imagine a whole field full of these flowers! No wonder he was encouraging me to buy one. This is the same man that lost his grandmother, and then turned to flowers to cope and manage this great loss. A man I can relate to! I am so happy I did not miss out on this special moment this morning. Of course when I saw this flower it was in the dark! Later in the day, Peter sent me this photo so I could actual see what the flower really looked like when the sun came up!!!


My flight to Los Angeles was over five hours long. Typically I do not sleep a second on a plane, but I am so exhausted, I would say I slept more than I was awake on this flight! A true first for me! Sitting across the aisle from me was a mom and her two children. She had a boy and a girl. Both preschool aged! I hate to say it, but typical gender stereotypes were playing out there..... the girl was sitting still and the boy was a total live wire. People next to me were staring at the mom and the little boy. I of course, did not bat an eye lash, because I knew exactly what she was balancing on that end of the aisle. The only difference between that mom and I was, as soon as the plane took off, her children slept for several hours! I couldn't get over what I was seeing! Totally out!!! Blankets, stuffed animals, and napping! A foreign concept to me!!!


When I got to LA, I met up with my parents at the airport. We had a full day together and even got in close to a 3 mile walk. Given that I have had a rather sedentary summer, walking feels good. At my parent's house, I was greeted by a Lizard who was literally staring at me when I opened the window! Signing off for today.

No comments: