Mattie Miracle Walk 2023 was a $131,249 success!

Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation Promotional Video

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to us that you take the time to write to us and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful to us and help support us through very challenging times. To you we are forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically stop writing on September 9, 2010. However, at the moment, I feel like our journey with grief still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with us, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki and Peter



The Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation celebrates its 7th anniversary!

The Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation was created in the honor of Mattie.

We are a 501(c)(3) Public Charity. We are dedicated to increasing childhood cancer awareness, education, advocacy, research and psychosocial support services to children, their families and medical personnel. Children and their families will be supported throughout the cancer treatment journey, to ensure access to quality psychosocial and mental health care, and to enable children to cope with cancer so they can lead happy and productive lives. Please visit the website at: www.mattiemiracle.com and take some time to explore the site.

We have only gotten this far because of people like yourself, who have supported us through thick and thin. So thank you for your continued support and caring, and remember:

.... Let's Make the Miracle Happen and Stomp Out Childhood Cancer!

A Remembrance Video of Mattie

September 28, 2014

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2007. I will never forget this moment. Mattie and I went over to his friend Zachary's house. Zachary's nanny, Sara, just had a baby. When Mattie was in preschool, Mattie and Zachary played practically everyday after school together. They were the best of friends. Because they spent so much time together, by circumstance so did Sara and I. Sara and I got to know each other quite well and I actually trusted Sara with Mattie. Which was saying a lot because I was very protective of Mattie. But I liked Sara's caregiving style and since we spent a lot of time together, I knew how she handled practically every situation and she also managed disagreements between Mattie and Zachary very fairly. As you can see in this photo, Mattie got to hold the baby. This was Mattie's first and last experience holding a baby. He seemed to really enjoy the whole process. On an aside, years later after Mattie died, I had the opportunity to meet Sara's baby, who grew up and by that time was Mattie's age. When I met him, he reminded me so much of Mattie, it was uncanny. Rather ironic how that all worked out. 


Quote of the day: You are what you do, not what you say you'll do. ~ Carl Jung


Peter and I have decided this Fall to visit Mattie's tree every weekend until we have our first frost. We feel the need to nurture the tree through the Fall and most likely will do the same thing once the Spring comes. The only way to truly know how this tree is doing is to observe it for ourselves. So every weekend we visit and water it ourselves. We placed enough mulch around this tree so that I do not need to see weeds growing around it, which truly upsets me. I don't like seeing weeds around any tree, but weeds around a memorial tree bothers me deeply. When we got to the school, there were children playing on the playground and running all over the place. That is always a sight to see and become adjusted to. We go on the weekends, because school is not in session. But naturally people from the neighborhood come onto the property and use the playground, which is understandable, since the campus is delightful. A part of me would much rather be bringing my child onto the playground to play rather than be coming to visit a tree which symbolizes the life of a child that once existed.   

This morning, Peter and I spent a part of the morning outside on our deck. We had breakfast out there and he had me laughing. He knew I would be cold, so literally he brought out a space heater. He used to do that for Mattie when he had cancer! Mattie wanted to play in his sandbox during the winter, between cancer treatments while he was home from the hospital. So Peter would bring out the heater with an extension cord. We would bundle Mattie up and out we would all go on the deck. Of course we had to make sure Mattie's central line (which was connected to his chest and was how Mattie received all his chemotherapy and medications) was fully covered and protected, so it wouldn't get full of sand. Any case, as the space heater came out today, I couldn't help but remember our times out on the deck with Mattie. 

I find it rather ironic that when I woke up this morning, I had a very vivid dream of Mattie. Which I shared with Peter. Typically I can't remember my dreams, but in this one Mattie and I were holding hands and he needed a diaper change. However, I had nothing with me to change him (totally not like me!). So literally I am walking with him from room to room, building to building, trying to find his diaper bag or cubbie of things. In my dream some of the rooms were familiar and at times others were completely new and unfamiliar, and yet we just kept walking through them exploring them looking for this things together. It was the most bizarre dream, and yet it seemed quite real and vivid. In a way, I felt as if I could hear his voice, hear his stories, and so forth as we were negotiating our way through the rooms!

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