Tonight's picture was taken in February of 2003. Mattie was ten months old. He clearly could stand at that point but he wasn't walking, nor was he tottering. We tried to look for toys or things to engage him that would cause him to be on his feet and have to move his body to take steps. Mattie loved this musical table because of all its gadgets and sounds. It did get him to move around the periphery of the table but Mattie was a cautious fellow and therefore would never let go! Mattie was considered a late walker, but once he started walking, he basically moved right into running. Mattie did things on his terms, not based on when a guide book said it was time.
Quote of the day: Hope is a tease designed to prevent us from accepting reality. ~ Dowager Countess of Grantham (Downtown Abbey)
If you are a Downton Abbey Fan, and watch this series on PBS, then tonight's quote may sound familiar. That is because it was delivered in last week's episode. I know when I heard it, I absolutely LOVED it! I loved it because unfortunately it is VERY TRUE. It isn't politically correct and it isn't optimistic. But that is just it, it is the reality of the situation. When we are in times of great stress and crisis, this is when people want to turn on the hope and throw platitudes at us. Certainly sometimes this is helpful and needed. But sometimes it really isn't! Sometimes we really need to wallow in sadness, grief, and in our situation. We need to be upset, angry, sad, and down right disgusted. Sometimes hope side steps these feelings and shuts them off from being expressed because the people around us can't handle them.
Peter is in Boston visiting his parents and I am headed to Los Angeles bright and early tomorrow morning to visit my parents. We do these separate trips but in all reality we tend not to like being apart from each other since Mattie died. I suppose that is a consequence of losing a child. While Peter was gone today, I was busy working on Foundation things and packing, but life here seemed very fragmented and just not right. The highlight of my morning happened while I was working on the computer. I noticed out of the corner of my eye movement. So I looked out the window. There was a man by my bird feeders. I noticed this same man examining my bird feeders last weekend too. This weekend he was back but he wasn't empty handed. This weekend he brought bird seed with him and actually filled the feeders. When he turned around, I waved to him through the window to thank him and he waved back. Well he made me day!!!! I feel like the feeders are building community in the complex, because basically living in the city there is NO community! People pretty much keep to themselves. This was very different from my Boston experience. I knew my neighbors in Boston and we did things together. Not in DC! It is more like NYC. In any case, I was so happy to see a fellow bird lover and one who wanted to help feed the birds with me!
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