Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2009. I remember this photo very well. I had gone home the night before to sleep. Typically I always stayed in the hospital at night with Mattie and Peter. But I was absolutely worn out and needed to sleep. I came back the following day, and Mattie was thrilled to see me. If you notice, I was wearing a HOPE necklace. I will explain more about this necklace below!
Quote of the day: Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all. ~ Emily Dickinson
I chalk it up to being overwhelmed back in August of 2008 (a month into Mattie's treatment). I wasn't thinking clearly, and therefore missed sharing about this important gift.
So I am taking you back in time, using my memory to recall how I got this necklace. This moment in time is SO real to me, so even though the story may not be in print, it is forever etched in my mind.
As Mattie was diagnosed and our world was falling apart, two friends decided to take on the role of co-leader of Team Mattie. Team Mattie became an incredible network of people (from our work, home, schools, etc) who delivered us meals daily, brought Mattie toys, treats, and gifts weekly, and truly if we needed something it was done. One of our co-leaders was Alison.
One day Alison came to visit Mattie and I in his hospital room. Room visits were always challenging because the space was small and emotions were always high. I distinctly remember sitting down talking to Alison (who has a great sense of humor and played with Mattie very well) and while talking to her, I noticed and commented on the beautiful HOPE necklace she was wearing. The details are sketchy in my mind, because we may have even been talking about the need for hope given the crisis we were living. In any case, Alison told me that her middle name is Hope and that someone gave her this necklace knowing that Hope was part of her name. The next thing I knew, Alison took the necklace off of herself and put it on me. It was so symbolic, because not only was she literally giving me hope, but she wanted me to know that I wasn't alone while going through this with Mattie. That was a major gift to receive, as cancer can be very isolating. Alison suggested I wear the necklace daily as a reminder.
Which I did! The necklace remained on me until Mattie died. After Mattie died, I told Alison that I thought she should have her necklace back. Her response was no! She actually wanted me to pass along the tradition of giving the necklace to someone else who needed hope while battling cancer. To this day, this necklace sits in my jewelry box, and I frankly can't part with it. To me it is a symbol, much greater than the word written upon it. The necklace is a constant reminder of the amazing network of people who surrounded us for over a year. It was through their support, I had HOPE.
In fact, since Mattie died, I have found that several of my friends are coping with their own cancer diagnosis. Given my own experience with a HOPE item, I have tried to always give my friends an item with the word HOPE on it. But moving forward I may change what the item is!
One of the things I passed along to Margy was a HOPE necklace of her own. I told her the story of my necklace and what it means to me, and I had a feeling the whole notion would resonate with Margy. Because prior to getting cancer, Margy ran a childhood cancer non-profit for twenty years called Growing Hope.
1 comment:
Vicki, thank you for sharing the story of the HOPEE necklace & sharing this messing with me. I will wear my HOPE neck less, remembering your story & kindnes in helping me keep my hope. It meant so much to me. Each morning when I put it on, I will think of Mattie & you
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