Mattie Miracle Walk 2023 was a $131,249 success!

Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation Promotional Video

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to us that you take the time to write to us and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful to us and help support us through very challenging times. To you we are forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically stop writing on September 9, 2010. However, at the moment, I feel like our journey with grief still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with us, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki and Peter



The Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation celebrates its 7th anniversary!

The Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation was created in the honor of Mattie.

We are a 501(c)(3) Public Charity. We are dedicated to increasing childhood cancer awareness, education, advocacy, research and psychosocial support services to children, their families and medical personnel. Children and their families will be supported throughout the cancer treatment journey, to ensure access to quality psychosocial and mental health care, and to enable children to cope with cancer so they can lead happy and productive lives. Please visit the website at: www.mattiemiracle.com and take some time to explore the site.

We have only gotten this far because of people like yourself, who have supported us through thick and thin. So thank you for your continued support and caring, and remember:

.... Let's Make the Miracle Happen and Stomp Out Childhood Cancer!

A Remembrance Video of Mattie

February 7, 2018

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Tonight's picture was taken in February of 2003. Mattie was ten months old and fully engaged with his toys. What he was holding was actually a drum. It was a toy that would record what he did and he could then hear his work. Mattie was intrigued with all toys that made noise. I know some parents are bothered by toys like this. However, that never bothered me. The only thing that really got to me was non-stop crying and tantrums. Of which Mattie had many. 


Quote of the day: The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places. ~ Ernest Hemingway


For the past two days, Peter has been in NYC. I am happy to report that he is home safely. The day he left for NY, there was a train derailment close to us in Maryland. I don't like flying, but the train is not high on my list either! 

While Peter was away, I had Indie and Sunny keeping me busy. They are actually good company. Which was helpful, because I would say that when one of us is gone, it is very noticeable how empty our home is. We felt this profoundly after losing Mattie. Part of us liked being home and the other part found it difficult. It was truly confusing and disturbing to not have Mattie calling out our names and running around. It was also hard to see his room and his things, and to be living life without him. 

Now 8 years later, I am not sure what is harder. What we experienced the first several years after Mattie died, or now? Now meaning that we have had to adjust to life without Mattie, so much so, that this has become the norm. It isn't normal, and don't get me started with that hateful term, NEW NORMAL. A term coined by social workers, why? I have no idea. Because nothing is normal about losing a child or having to find one's way in the world alone. This loss will never be normal, but our brain and heart learn to adjust and accommodate. Which is frankly disturbing to admit as a parent. I suppose if we did not adjust, the alternative would be that we would stop living. Don't mistake what I am saying, accommodating doesn't mean forgotten by any stretch of the imagination. But accommodating can make one feel guilty.

It was another busy day of Foundation Walk planning, but also trying to develop language for several grants we are targeting. All I know is several hours into writing, I had to walk away to clear my mind. In my case, walking away, means walking with Sunny. Whenever I move from my desk, Sunny is right on my tail, reminding me..... It's time for a walk! Walking in the pouring rain today, when it was raw outside, wasn't my cup of tea, but it is what one signs up for when getting a big dog.  

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