Tonight's picture was taken in June of 2004. Mattie was two years old and I have to say this is one of my favorite candid photos I snapped! Mattie loved playing with his Mr. Potato Head toy, and the toy came with accessories. One being these plastic glasses. Instead of putting them on Mr. Potato Head, Mattie donned them on himself! Not only wearing them on, but walking around our home with them upside down!
Quote of the day: For a chronic migraine, there are no triggers, life is my trigger. For chronic migraineurs there are no cures, there are only patches that will get you through to the next bout. Have we tried, acupuncture, herbal remedies, diets, standing upside down on our heads? Yes. The answer is if we have gotten diagnosed with chronic migraines then we have tried everything, and if by chance we have been able to get up and put our mask on that day please let us wear it, under our sunglasses and large hats. It took a lot to get there, and ain’t nobody got spoons for that. ~ Emily A.
Today I went for my follow up appointment with my neurologist. There are some doctors who I see continuously throughout the calendar year. This neurologist came into my life about two months after Mattie died. Mind you I had seen several others before him. But he came highly recommended from Mattie's art therapist.
Like Emily in tonight's quote, I too have been diagnosed with chronic migraines, as well as cluster headaches. Cluster headaches are horrific, they seem to last a long time (I am talking weeks), and are debilitating. In fact, some people become suicidal because of them. In any case, my neurologist said to me today that he is confident in time my headaches will go away. I absolutely LAUGHED. I laughed because I got my first migraine on the day I went into labor, back in 2002, and I haven't had a headache free day since. After I laughed, my doctor retracted his sentence and said...... well in 100 years, things will be different. REALLY? My response was in 100 years..... I will be dead. So certainly I won't be dealing with headaches. I am not sure who was more humorous today, him or me? It was a toss up! FYI, my nickname for this doctor is 'Mr. Personality.' You connect the dots.
Gloria Vanderbilt explained in the article (see below) that even 28 years after her son's death, she still hasn't reached closure. She goes onto say that Christmas' have never been the same either. She lost a son to suicide and I lost a son to cancer, and yet we have very similar views of the world. Because unfortunately such a tragic and unexpected loss, leaves a parent and family traumatized. The trauma is carried with us always. The only difference is that over time we develop a way to function with it. Yet the outside world doesn't always see our scars, but I assure you those of us who have experienced such a traumatic loss.... we see these scars in ourselves and others, as if they were very fresh and very visible.
How Gloria Vanderbilt Coped After the Suicide of Her Son, Carter Cooper:
https://people.com/style/gloria-vanderbilt-on-son-carter-cooper-death/
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