Friday, September 3, 2021

Friday, September 3, 2021

Tonight's picture was taken in April of 2002. Mattie was literally only a few days old. Someone gave me this baby swing and we tried to get Mattie used to it. He may look peaceful and sleeping, but I assure you it did not last long. In fact, I probably can count on one hand how many times Mattie used this swing. 

Quote of the day: Today's coronavirus update from Johns Hopkins. 

• Number of people diagnosed with the virus: 39,687,229
• Number of people who died from the virus: 644,844

Yesterday I went shopping for plants, note cards, and gift cards. I wanted to make sure we acknowledged all our front desk staff and rental office personnel before we handed in our keys today. I have been juggling a ton of things, but I would have been very upset if we did not do something special for these amazing people. All of these individuals looked out for us and the Foundation for years and if I ever called and said I needed something, within minutes it was addressed. 

Saying good-bye to our townhouse and all the complex staff today was VERY difficult. It actually was emotional, bordering on traumatic. I am typically not a crier, it takes a lot for me to lose it and cry. But today I was hysterical, at times I was crying so hard it was hard to breathe. 

I took some final photos of things at the townhouse today. This was our house phone. It came with the townhouse. When we moved in years ago, the front desk (which is manned 24 hours a day) could contact us on this phone. Of course now everything is through email. 

I left three things at the townhouse. One was this flamingo light plate. We bought it with Mattie in Florida. 

The second item we left was this gecko light plate. This was in Mattie's room, and we bought it at the same time we bought the flamingo. 

The final item I left was this Red Sox Nation sticker. Mattie put this on his bedroom window in 2007. It has been there ever since. 

This oak tree is special to me! It stood right outside our living room window. Every spring Mattie and I would pick some of its leaves to feed his tent moth caterpillars. Mattie loved bringing home caterpillars from school, putting them in jars, feeding them, and waiting for them to transform into moths. We did this annually! This is the ONLY oak near us. 

This is one sight I will not miss. The graffiti and large encampment right outside our building. I am disgusted with how the city has managed these issues and has NO regard for resident requests and concerns. In fact, the homeless have more rights than tax paying citizens.

Our complex was built in 1968. From our balcony, we could see all our fellow residents in our building. 

This is a sight I will greatly miss... the Kennedy Center. I was so excited to have a subscription to musicals in 2020. However, COVID hit and there went the subscription!

The front of our townhouse, which was two floors. 

I left behind Mattie's frog sandbox. Since other children in the complex play with it, I decided to leave it for them. 

This memorial garden is now overgrown. Typically Peter would weed it, but given the move, we have been focused on packing and moving. Peter planted many of these bushes with Mattie before he was diagnosed with cancer. When they planted these bushes they were knee height. Look at them now. 

The sad part about this is a neighbor tells me that all of these planting are getting dug up for structural maintenance. I am glad I don't have to see this happening to this garden. 

Our commons area, secured from the street. In this area Mattie learned to walk, ride a bike, fly a kite, and of course drive Speedy Red. 

We said good-bye to our home of 27 years. I am sure everyone who leaves a home behind has these same feelings. I just think ours are magnified given the nature of our loss. I can create areas within our new home that acknowledge Mattie, but it will be a space he never visited or was a part of. So in essence moving is another loss of him.  

I know saying that we lived there for 27 years may not mean much. But I moved into this space when I was 24 years old. I was practically a kid, and while there began my married life, we attended  graduate school, both Peter and I celebrated graduations there, Mattie was born, we raised him with all those milestones, and of course we went through cancer treatment there, and then learned to live the last 12 years of our lives without Mattie. Putting that into context, it sounds like we lived a lifetime there. 

 

After saying good-bye to our friends at the complex, I got into the car and both Peter and I were crying. So I suggested we head right to Dairy Queen. In times of stress, I turn to a blizzard. It is my therapy.