Monday, October 4, 2021

Monday, October 4, 2021

Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2008. It is actually a short video of the football team's cheer at Mattie's school. That day we were visiting the field and the team huddled up near Mattie. The team yelled out Mattie and he loved it! I remember this moment in time distinctly. 

Quote of the day: Today's coronavirus update from Johns Hopkins.

• Number of people diagnosed with the virus: 43,822,552
• Number of people who died from the virus: 703,130

Since we moved in, Peter had taken two business trips. This week being one of them. He flew across the country for a week long meeting. That leaves me holding down the Farm, Sunny's rehab, and whatever else goes wrong here. For about a week, I felt that Peter's office had a funny smell. Since Indie's litter box was in there, I figured it was from the box. But I have been cleaning that box more than usual, and the smell still exists. It finally dawned on me today.... it's not the litter box. So I started nosing around and have determined the smell is coming from a toilet.... like a sewer gas smell. The goal was to keep the current toilets for now, but I can't handle this smell and my hope is the plumber can fix it. 

We have had so much electrical and plumbing work in the house that I have the personal cell phone numbers of both men. So I text messaged the plumber today and alerted him that we have a problem. He was scheduled to come next week anyway for a different issue, so hopefully this will be an easy fix. But I have learned nothing here is easy. 

With Peter gone, I see just how quiet and isolated it is outside the city. Certainly when I used to go away on vacation I sought out places like this, but living here day in and day out is another story. It is quite possible to never see a soul all day, unless I get into the car and engage with the world. I miss my view of the city, seeing people, cars, planes, and trucks going by. I miss seeing people doing their daily chores and my bird's eye view from Mattie's window, enabled me to tell what time of day it was from the amount of foot traffic passing by. 

Sunny had his two week follow up appointment with the surgeon today. She sees what I am saying..... this leg is recovering slower than the other leg (which was done last year). She said on physical exam, he appears to be doing well, and that I should start him on small leash walks. I got home and tried that! Big mistake. Sunny literally collapsed twice without me supporting him with a sling. So I tossed the leash and I am back at it with the sling. Sunny is not a light dog to be carrying, and his mind is telling him he wants to walk, but the body can't keep up. This makes for a very frustrating walk with him and given the weekend from hell that I had physically, trying to carry a 68 pound dog around is no picnic. 

On a completely different note, one of our researchers sent me the article below. I loved the title, and copied a portion of the abstract below that I felt was spot on. I am grateful that researchers are now enlightening the public that asking bereaved parents to move on and put grief in a box, doesn't work! Like so many others.... I am "parenting beyond the veil." Meaning the relationship I have with Mattie and my parenting role continues. In a different way, but it is very much alive. 

"Parenting Beyond the Veil": The Continued Parenting Relationship After a Child's Death Due to Cancer

"The parenting relationship continues throughout a parent's lifetime in spite of the child's physical absence, albeit in a different manner. This different nature of parenting is known as parenting beyond the veil. Bereaved parents continue to parent beyond the veil by engaging in meaningful activities, seeking activities that strengthen a deep connection with the child, and being open to comforting signs that enhance their continued relationship."