Tuesday, December 28, 2021 -- Mattie died 639 weeks ago today.
Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2004. It was featured on the cover of our family holiday card. Mattie was two and half years old and by that point could understand the request to sit still to capture a photo. It was a holiday tradition that Mattie would get dressed up in a Christmas sweater and we would take photos of him. I haven't decorated since 2007, but when I look at our current Christmas tree and compare it to the one in this photo, I see all the same ornaments. It is amazing how I have preserved them over all these years in boxes.
Quote of the day: Today's coronavirus update from Johns Hopkins.
- Number of people diagnosed with the virus: 53,093,904
- Number of people who died from the virus: 820,419
I can't say I accomplished much today, as I am still feeling under the weather. I feel like I am drowning in sinus fluid! I got my dad washed, dressed, and did all his exercises. I even walked Sunny. But after that I felt like I ran a marathon and have been taking it low key. That will be my new mantra until I am feeling more energetic and like myself. Typically I am like the energizer bunny, so when I am not feeling well, my lack of activity is noticeable by everyone.
What feels like overnight, I have become a full-time family caregiver. It isn't a role that is actually new to me, but I haven't served this role for years. Yet I know that caregiving for someone with dementia is associated with higher levels of distress and depression than caring for someone who doesn’t have dementia.
When I wonder why I feel so depleted, I have to give myself a reality check. I moved myself in August (from Washington DC, where we lived for 27 years to Oakton, VA), then dealt with home renovations, packed my parents up in December and moved them in with us. No breaks in between and during all of this, I am caregiving for my dad.
Research indicates that assuming a caregiving role can be stressful and burdensome. Caregiving has all the features of a chronic stress experience: It creates physical and psychological strain over extended periods of time, is accompanied by high levels of unpredictability and uncontrollability, has the capacity to create secondary stress in multiple life domains such as work and family relationships, and frequently requires high levels of vigilance. Caregiving fits the formula for chronic stress so well that it is used as a model for studying the health effects of chronic stress.
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