Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2007. It was Mattie's first day of summer camp at his preschool, and before moving along with our day, I wanted to capture that moment in time. You can see from Mattie's facial expression that he was not happy with my request. But he complied and now looking back I am so happy that I insisted on photos. Not just photos during milestone moments, but photos that documented our daily live together.
Quote of the day: Sometimes our work as caregivers is not for the faint of heart. But, you will never know what you’re made of until you step into the fire. Step bravely. ~ Deborah A. Beasley
Since my parents have lived with us, we have been spending a great deal of time in about three or four local restaurants. I cook about four days a week, and then the other three we go out for a main meal of the day. My dad actually looks forward to going out. He has to interact with the world, he gets to talk with people, and it provides some structure to his day. Who knew that going out to eat would serve many psychosocial functions? But it does!
In two of the restaurants that we frequent, we have become friendly with the waitresses. They consider us their "regulars." Ironically while chatting with them, we have gotten to know more about them and their families. Don't you know it both in question have been touched by cancer. One waitress, her son is a brain cancer survivor and the other waitress, her husband died from a long cancer battle. She was his caregiver and once he died, she raised four children on her own. These are very determined and special women and what I find most fascinating about this is I think caregivers, or caregiver types, are attracted to one another.
I personally appreciate working with both of these women, because when I take my dad out, he has a lot of needs and requests. In addition to his pickiness about food, I also have to contend with his bathroom issues. I find that I land up eating quickly at every meal because I just don't know when there will be a bathroom emergency. I used to wonder which bathroom to I take my dad into! But now it is common place for me. I waltz right into the ladies room with him, and to this day, no one has ever looked at me funny or even questioned why I am bringing him in. Of course just watching my dad in motion, it is very evident that he needs a lot of help both physically and cognitively.
Some days are easier than others to balance his needs. If it was only the physical needs that would be one thing, but it is the cognitive issues that can really weigh on me. The constant questioning, the repeating of answers, and his inability to have interest in anything..... all are overwhelming day in and day out. To help guide my dad's day, I have a master calendar by his chair and a portable white board that highlights all his daily activities and the timing of them. Despite all my efforts, what he really wants to do is sleep the day away, which of course will not help his memory issue. All I can remind myself is to take it one day at a time. But I long for a day when I can just sleep in and not have to jump up and manage ten tasks at once.
No comments:
Post a Comment