Wednesday, September 20, 2023Tonight's picture was taken in September of 2007. I remember this day as if it were yesterday. It was the first day of kindergarten. That was a big deal because it was a FULL day of school. Mattie's preschool was only three hours long and he only went three days a week. Kindergarten was the first real time that we were away from each other for a chunk of time. Any case, before we left for school, I had Mattie pose on our deck. I wanted to capture that moment in time and truly at that point, I thought I would have many more first days of school! I would never have guessed that it would be our first and last together.
Quote of the day: When someone you love dies, and you're not expecting it, you don't lose her all at once; you lose her in pieces over a long time - the way the mail stops coming, and her scent fades from the pillows and even from the clothes in her closet and drawers. Gradually, you accumulate the parts of her that are gone. Just when the day comes - when there's a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feeling that she's gone, forever - there comes another day, and another specifically missing part. ~ John Irving
It was pajama day at my dad's memory care center. This week they are celebrating the staff and participants of the center and with that, they are doing themed days and fun activities. The conclusion I have come to is that it is hard to find cute pajamas for men. You can do so much more with women's pajamas and reflect the fun day with a hairstyle and so forth.
In any case, I did put a flannel pajama top on my dad and snapped a photo. Photos are important because it helps as a reminder for my dad! Even while my dad is wearing the pajama, he is truly disoriented at times to what is going on around him. Honestly the decline in my dad is so stark, given the bright and witty person he once was, it can be hard to take!
While my dad was at the center, I spent some time working on the computer today! A real rarity. But I have a Foundation newsletter that needs to go out next week, and unfortunately it doesn't write itself. After working a bit, I took my mom to CVS, as she wanted to get some things for her and my dad. What I have noticed is that managers where ever we go (you name it.... pharmacy, clothing store, doctor offices, restaurants), have gotten to know us. Of course you can't miss us, as I am typically juggling a ton of bags and holding or guiding both parents in each of my hands. I am very appreciative of the kindness of those I have met in the service industry and in so many ways they brighten some difficult days for me.
When we picked my dad up at his memory care center, my mom started in on him again about what he did today! He looked to his pocket notebook, and as usual he did not write anything down. This same routine has been going on since March of 2022, when he started the program. The only thing this dialogue accomplishes is aggravation and anger. So I finally said to my mom in the car that we have to drop this conversation. My dad can't remember what he does from one minute to the next. We have to be okay with this reality, despite the fact that we want him to work on memory strategies, he either can't or isn't interested.
I have come to this realization about a month ago! I have been trying to stimulate my dad's brain with reading passages, games, puzzles, and his daily logs. But finally I had to let all of this go. I can't want something for him that isn't doable or possible and certainly if it has no benefit or brings him happiness, then it needs to be eliminated, and I have! Again, another sad reality on just so many others.
No comments:
Post a Comment