Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2007. Mattie was five years old. Each Christmas, I would dress Mattie up in a holiday sweater and snap a photo of him. These photos always went on the cover of our holiday cards. This was his cute sweater in 2007. I am not sure Mattie loved having a Christmas tree or decorating it. What he loved about having a tree was that he could assemble his Santa Christmas train set underneath and around it. Mattie was enamored with trains and I can't think of our trees without the excitement of Mattie's trains.
Quote of the day: Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass. ~ Mary Kay Blakeley
This morning, after dropping my dad off at his memory care center, I had chores to run. When I got home, I was determined to contact one of the company's that managed stocks that we bought years ago. I knew we have several different accounts with this company. I first started out talking to this company by chat and then this person could see I really needed to speak to a live person. Between the chat and the call, I was derailed for almost two hours. But I got down the bottom of this and learned that I basically have no more stocks left in my name. The surprises just keep on coming. If I reported in full what I have endured since 2023, you would be stunned. Somehow however, hearing this news today, set me off. Yes I have been angry before today, but today's emotions are intense. It is a horrible feeling to be played, lied to, manipulated, and disrespected for years.
I am livid and there is no time to feel anything else other than constant panic, trauma, and anxiety. Each day, I ask myself.... what shoe will drop today? I wake up prepared for the worst! I just never know if the worst is coming by mail, email, or phone call!
On an aside, I am very grateful to friends who are reaching out to me either through the blog, text message, or email. What I absorbed today is that Mattie's blog is read throughout the country. As I know for sure that we have readers in Washington State, Colorado, California, Oregon, Missouri, Connecticut, Massachusetts, New York, Maryland, Virginia, and Florida. Literally if I put a map together, it would be truly interesting to see what other states are represented in our Mattie Blog family!
Seeing my story through the eyes of friends, reminds me, just how outlandish all of this is, how incredibly horrific it is, and as one friend said..... this is just so crazy, you couldn't possibly make this up! As I always say, truth is better than fiction and what I am facing, I couldn't possibly have concocted. It is that over the top, that unexpected, and that devastating.
Being so wound up this afternoon, I came home at 4pm, got my dad settled and then I went to our backyard to trim roses back by 50%. I filled up three large bags full of debris. You should see how much debris I have at the curb right now. It speaks to my level of angst and pent up frustration, anger, and anxiety. Thank goodness it was a warm afternoon, because being outside is about the only thing that restabilizes me.
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