Tonight's picture was taken in January of 2003. Mattie was 9 months old. He absolutely loved his walker, which we referred to as "tot wheels." What Mattie loved was the independence to zoom around on his own, and you would be amazed how he would follow me around our townhouse in this huge thing. He turned tight corners and maneuvered like a pro! This maybe one of my favorite photos. Peter took the photo, but who was Mattie looking at? ME! There was a photographer on Facebook who was so enamored with this photo, that Tim blew it up one day and showed me that indeed my reflection can be seen shinning off of Mattie's eyes.
Quote of the day: What matters in life is not what happens to you but what you remember and how you remember it. ~ Gabriel Garcia Marquez
I can't tell you how many self care lists have come across my desk over the last year and a half. Self care is one of those topics that truly sounds almost ridiculous if you are a family caregiver. There is no time for self, much less care. But recently I have seen some very simplistic lists of self care, that are far more manageable and obtainable for me. Such things as sleeping an extra hour, sitting still for 10 minutes and looking outside at nature, or even things that are mentally stimulating, like taking a course.
Despite the clown show I juggle on any given day, I did complete my continuing education credits for my licensure renewal in December of 2024. That wasn't an easy feat, but I made that a priority. But like my therapist reminds me often, when I first started seeing her in December of 2023, I did not know how to pay a bill. I had no idea for our monthly or yearly cash flow, and I most definitely had no idea how to maintain a house!
Yet as my dad always used to say to me...... you can eat an elephant (not literally, it is an analogy) one spoonful at a time! Taking anything in pieces, makes the end goal far more manageable. Back in December of 2023, I did not think it was capable for me to run a household alone, caregive full time, and run Mattie Miracle. But guess what? I am doing it! Each day, I have pushed myself to learn something new, and I have found with age, that is the key to keeping the mind and body active. That said, I would rather be doing something else than worrying about financials and managing a house of my own, but I know all too well that so much in life is out of our control. The question is what do you do with the hand you have been dealt? Truly my answer to this question varies depending upon the day.
Next week, Mattie Miracle has several board meetings. In order to prepare for these meetings, I had to put financials together for the board. It is down right hysterical, I have gone from not being a numbers person, to now being someone who has a much more solid understanding for credits and debits! I spent hours on these financials tonight and slowly but surely I have become in full control of every aspect of my life. If you told me that this was what my life was going to look like five years ago, I would have laughed hysterically.
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