Tonight's picture was taken in January of 2009. I remember this day like it were yesterday. Mattie was invited to two birthday parties in one day. That wouldn't be a problem for most kids who were 6 years old, but Mattie was home between chemotherapy treatments and his energy level was different from his peers. In addition, Mattie was wheelchair bound and had no hair. Mattie was keenly aware of his differences. There were several children at both of the parties who did not know him and they did not know his cancer story. So there were lots of glances and fears and helping Mattie navigate social situations, while also making other children around him comfortable, was a balancing act.
Quote of the day: In order to empathize with someone's experience, you must be willing to believe them as they see it and not how you imagine their experience to be. ~ Brene Brown
In response to Sunday's, January 5th, posting my support angel sent me the passage below from Ernest Hemingway.........................
When people talk, listen completely. Don’t be thinking what you’re going to say. Most people never listen. Nor do they observe. You should be able to go into a room and when you come out know everything that you saw there and not only that. If that room gave you any feeling you should know exactly what it was that gave you that feeling.
It’s a rare and profound gift to be fully present with someone, and yet, it’s something so few of us truly offer. Most people only half-listen, their minds already formulating their next words, distracted by their own thoughts, or zoning out entirely.
Imagine how powerful it would be if we listened more deeply—if we made a commitment to being fully engaged, to hearing and understanding not just the words, but the emotions and intentions behind them. Listening isn’t just about waiting for your turn to speak; it’s about absorbing what someone else is sharing and making them feel heard, valued, and understood. It’s about connecting on a level deeper than surface conversations, because when you truly listen, you open a door to empathy and genuine connection. And isn’t that what we’re all really longing for?
Beyond listening, there is also the art of observing, of truly noticing the world around you. When you walk into a room, take a moment to soak in everything. Notice the details—the way the sunlight filters through the windows, the color of the walls, the expressions on people’s faces, the way someone is nervously tapping their foot or laughing with their eyes more than their mouth. Most of us rush through spaces, our minds preoccupied and our eyes barely registering what’s in front of us. But there’s magic in paying attention, in being mindful of the small details that make every moment unique.
Think of the room not just as a physical space, but as an experience. Every room has a mood, a feeling, an energy. It could be the coziness of a room filled with laughter, the tension of a space where a difficult conversation just took place, or the warmth of a place that holds beautiful memories. The more we tune in to these subtle feelings, the more deeply we can understand our surroundings and the people in them. What gave you that feeling? Was it the way someone’s eyes lit up when they smiled? The scent of freshly brewed coffee that brought a sense of comfort? Or perhaps the distant echo of a song that stirred up a forgotten memory?
Being observant and emotionally aware in this way takes practice, but it also transforms the way you move through life. You become more sensitive, more attuned, more aware. You start to notice the way a friend’s voice softens when they’re talking about something they love, or the slight shift in someone’s tone when they’re hiding something. You begin to see and feel things that others miss entirely, and that awareness can lead to a richer, more connected experience of the world.
It’s a beautiful thing to be a person who listens with their heart, who observes deeply, and who feels fully. It means you’re not just drifting through life; you’re living it intentionally. You’re soaking in the fullness of each moment, aware of the beauty and complexity around you. It means you understand people better, because you’ve made the effort to see and hear them, to pick up on the nuances of their being. It means you can be the kind of person whose presence feels calming, because people know you’re truly there with them, not just waiting for your turn to talk or half-heartedly engaging.
So, when you’re in conversation, let go of the urge to plan your next statement. Take a breath, relax your mind, and give the person speaking your undivided attention. Let yourself be present, fully. When you walk into a room, slow down and really see it. Observe the details, feel the energy, notice the small things that make that moment unique. You’ll find that life becomes richer, fuller, and more meaningful when you learn to listen and observe completely. It’s not just about hearing words or seeing objects—it’s about feeling the fullness of everything around you. It’s about experiencing life, deeply and completely.
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When I read Hemingway's words, my immediate reaction was..... EXACTLY! He was spot on. I have always tried to aspire to the person he is describing. As I feel connecting with people doesn't mean just filling up space and throwing out words. It means absorbing subtleties, non-verbals, expressions, and of course trying to understand the feelings and the undertones of the words being conveyed to me. Throughout my entire married life, Peter always would say to me..... you have a gift. You can make each person who talks with you feel like they are the only one present in the room. Meaning that I had a way of making people feel special, important, and cared about. I always viewed that as the highest compliment. I do not act this way because I have an ulterior motive. I act this way because I am genuinely interested and care about people.
I have always been the kind of person who absorbs everything around me. If a room can have feelings, then I assure you I am absorbing those feelings. I can instantly assess a room and the mood within it. I could do this as far back as my childhood. Which may explain when school was over for the day, I never left after dismissal (this would drive my mom crazy). Why? Because people would stop me, want to talk, and somehow even as a pre-teen, I was investing in helping people try to solve or cope with their issues. I gravitated to helping people and it was through my involvement and support of others that I found my passion for life. Helping others has always been my compass.
What if we all lived our lives like Hemingway is suggesting? I have a feeling the world would be a happier place. People would feel heard, understood, valued, and feel connected to something bigger than themselves. May we all not just drift through life, but live it intentionally. It is something to aspire to and what I have found is by making this investment in others, it can further your own growth, development, and humanity.
My support angel did not just send me this Hemingway passage, but she also said.............................
You know how some teachers leave an impression on a person for the rest of their lives, and perhaps change the course of their lives? That's you. You leave an indelible impression on people who see you care for children with cancer, who see you care for your parents, and people don't forget this. From Starbucks, to the workmen who help you with your plumbing, etc. You leave your mark on them. That's way more than most of us do. You are like Hemingway. You listen and are actively engaged with those you come in contact with. You are present and that is a tremendous legacy.
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