Friday, July 29, 2011Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2007 outside the entrance to Dutch Wonderland in Lancaster, PA. Peter took this picture of us after a long day within the park. Mattie had a great day and for us it was a day of many firsts. I found out that my son loved fast rides and had absolutely no issue with motion sickness. He loved the rides SO much that he went on them multiple times. I think the goal Peter and Mattie had, was to find out which parks around the country had the best roller coasters, and then ride them in the future. But naturally for us the future wasn't meant to be.
Quote of the day: Even his griefs are a joy long after to one that remembers all that he wrought and endured. ~ Homer
I have always been fascinated by Greek Mythology and the moral lessons that seem to be intertwined within each tale. Tonight's quote, written by Homer (one of the greatest ancient Greek epic poets, most famous for the Iliad and Odyssey) had me thinking and THINKING!!!! At first I simply didn't get it, because to me a grief can never be a joy. So I just kept reading and re-reading it, and then pulled Peter into my debate. The word in this quote that confuses me completely is "one." I have read this quote with "one" referring to the first person and then "one" referring to the third person. In the first person, this would naturally mean that over time, one reflects on what he/she endured and can find joy from this grief. However, in the third person, I interpret this as perhaps a friend of mine, who can clearly remember what Peter and I went through as Mattie battled cancer, now looks at these griefs with joy. Joy because the third person can objectively see that through this cancer battle the beauty of love, a community, and the meaningful priorities of life have become clearer. So in essence a tragic grief has established an inner joy, a revelation of reality. Of course I cognitively see this reality, but emotionally as the parent who lost her only child, I see NO joy in this grief. Therefore, depending upon how I intepret the word, "one" my feelings about this quote change.
It was a day of chores and Foundation paperwork. At lunch time, Peter asked me if I wanted to meet him near work and have lunch together. So despite the heat, and it felt like 110 degrees out, I walked to meet Peter. We chatted about each other's day and then went our separate ways. I spent the afternoon watering and reviving my garden and Ann's. In this heat, plants can wilt and die very easily, and I am determined to keep them going.
Later in the day, I spent time with Ann's mom, Mary. One of the caregivers who works in the assisted living facility, who we all happen to love, was leaving today. She will not be working at this facility any longer and frankly it is hard to believe this was her last day. Over the last several months, I have come to truly appreciate this caregiver, admire her love for her patients, and in the process we have gotten to know each other. I feel strongly about this individual and there was no way I was going to let this caregiver leave this facility without giving her a gift. Sometimes you meet such a rare individual who simply loves people and life and makes even challenging situations more tolerable..... well Mary's caregiver is such an individual. This woman led a hard life, and yet, you could never tell this from her demeanor. I remember one day talking to her about how she spent her weekend, mind you she worked every other weekend at the facility. That particular weekend she had off and got to spend it with her husband and her family. She was so happy and talked about how much she loved gathering with her family for coffee and treats. However, she couldn't afford to go out for coffee and treats, and therefore landed up staying at home making them herself. That comment lingered with me, and therefore it was easy for me to determine that the perfect gift for her would be a gift card to Starbucks. When she received it, she was beside herself and gave me a big hug. She remembered our conversation and was touched that it made an impression on me. In reality she as a person has made an impression on me and I wanted her to know that her position maybe replaceable, but the type of love, character, and quality she brought to her job was NOT replaceable.
Naturally I did not need to give Mary's caregiver a gift and perhaps I do not even need to be writing about this. But I am writing about it because it speaks to the importance of connecting to others and how much I value these connections. I also think holding back and not verbalizing feedback and feelings not only is disingenuous but it also prevents others from knowing how much they mean to us or have impacted us. I feel happy tonight knowing that Mary's caregiver understands quite well that she matters, we will miss her, and that we love her as a person.
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