Sunday, January 1, 2012Tonight's picture was taken in January of 2003. As was typical of our weekends together, we usually went walking and spent time outside. This was where Mattie was most happiest. That weekend we went to Roosevelt Island and as you can see Mattie was riding on Peter's back. This was Mattie's favorite form of transportation prior to independently walking. Mattie HATED his strollers and forget the baby bjorn or any type of front carrier. There was something appealing to Mattie with being on Peter's back. Perhaps it was the height and the fact that he could see us clearly. Because with a stroller or front carrier he couldn't see us!
Quote of the day: Joy is not in things, it is in us. ~ Richard Wagner
There is something very telling about tonight's quote. I agree with it wholeheartedly. I am guilty just as much as the next person in trying to find joy or happiness from not necessarily things but those around me. In fact it would be a lot easier to blame our lack of possessions or the insensitivities of others for our state of being. However, at the end of the day, in reality no one can provide us with joy or happiness if it does not exist within ourselves. That is a harsh realization because what it signifies is that change must start from within. Now with that said, I do firmly believe that those around us can inspire this internal change and they can also help us to experience joy and happiness when we are unable to do this for ourselves. We are social beings and do feed off of each other's thoughts, feelings, and moods. I know that my feelings are usually intense whether positive or negative, and I can QUICKLY transform someone's mood around me. However for me it goes the other way as well. I am good at absorbing other people's feelings and their concerns and worries have a way of sticking with me over time.
Peter and I had another slow day. We did get out and walked two miles around Roosevelt Island and like yesterday I did feed the ducks. The ducks always migrate my way as soon as they see a bag or even hear the rustling of a bag that I am holding. Unfortunately for us, Roosevelt Island was VERY crowded today. It seemed to be wall to wall people. I like walking on the Island when there are very few people there. For me, it is our escape within the city. There wasn't much escaping today.... there were people, children, and dogs everywhere. Ironically before having Mattie, crowds did not bother me in the least. However, once Mattie was born, and I observed and experienced his aversion to crowds, noise, and congestion, he conditioned me. In fact, when he was a baby, if I knew we were going to be in a crowd or confined somehow inside, my stress level would go up, and I would immediately start looking for alternatives to this setting, because I knew this would set Mattie off on a terrible tantrum. Though Mattie is no longer with me, somehow I am conditioned to feel stress and anxiety in these types of settings. So though I walked the Island and got fresh air, I did not enjoy it in the least.
I spent the rest of the day focused on Foundation items. Typically at this time of year I am ramping up plans for our annual May walk. However, this year, we are not only planning the Walk, but we have the Whole Foods day in January and a psychosocial symposium in March, so we shall see how well I can juggle all three events.
As today is the first day of our new year, I hope that our readers had a good day and know that we wish you a happy, healthy, and safe 2012.
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