Sunday, January 8, 2012Tonight's picture was taken at Mattie's March in April of 2009. This was an event Team Mattie created to celebrate him and what we thought was going to be the end of his treatment regimen. Unfortunately for Mattie when his chemotherapy ended in May, he then had to have a sternotomy in June (to remove tumors in his lungs) and then we learned of his terminal status in August of 2009. However, I wanted to post this picture tonight because it captured my attention yesterday. Yesterday I was going through a ton of pictures to find just the right documentation for our Foundation's brochure. If I could entitle this photo, I would call it "friends." While the program of events was occurring on the left hand side, Mattie on the right hand side of this photo was surrounded by his buddies. With him were Brandon (his big buddy) and Robbie (one of Mattie's favorite hospital volunteers). However, look closely, there was someone behind Robbie! That little person happened to be Zachary, Mattie's very close friend and preschool buddy. Zachary stayed close to Mattie that entire day, but then again, what are best friends for? Zachary made this choice to be with Mattie, which meant that he was separated from his family during the ceremony and also that hundreds of people were watching him from the stands during that time. To me that was a remarkable choice for a seven year old to make!
Quote of the day: The more we develop the habit of noticing goodness, the more our own sense of well being rises. ~ Brahma Kumaris
Peter and I had another working day! However, mid-day, I did take a break and we went for a walk on Roosevelt Island. While we were parking our car by the Island, we observed a mother with three children. One child had fallen down and was crying hysterically and her other two she wasn't paying any attention to which was a problem since they were dangerously close to the parking lot. We made note of this woman and her children because we literally stopped traffic to avoid cars from coming close to her wandering children. She did not acknowledge us or thank us, which was fine. Keep this in mind as my story continues!
Peter bought another box of crackers for me to feed the ducks and he keeps the box in his car trunk for our walks. Before entering onto Roosevelt Island, I had Peter give me a sleeve of crackers to take along with me on our journey. Part of me does this in memory of Mattie, because this is something he loved doing on the island.
However what wasn't fine was what took place later on our journey with this mother from the parking lot. During one portion of our walk on the Island there is a bridge and ducks like to congregate there. So I opened up my sleeve of crackers and began to feed the ducks. It was at that point, we spotted this mother and her three children again. The children came running over to watch the ducks being fed and when the mother tapped me on the shoulder, I thought she was going to ask me for some crackers so her boys could feed the ducks. However, to my dismay she decided to tap me on the shoulder to give me a lecture. Her lecture was about the harm I am doing to the ducks and that I shouldn't be feeding them. I gave her a look and I told her that her lecture wasn't going to stop me from feeding the ducks. With that she grabbed her children and shuffled them along, as if I were dangerous and committing a crime. She is lucky I held my tongue because if I told her the significance of why I feed the ducks then perhaps this would have taken her off her soap box. Needless to say she ruined the whole walk for me and the enjoyment I always had from feeding the ducks. She is lucky she was with three children today, because she had me so mad, I literally wanted to throw her right into the Potomac with the ducks.
I did come home and googled information about duck feeding and learned why bread and crackers aren't good for ducks. If you want to read this information, I posted the link below. However, I grew up feeding ducks and I never remember hearing about the dangers of carbohydrates for ducks! So even armed with this information, I have mixed feelings.
http://birding.about.com/od/birdfeeders/a/feedingducksbread.htm
Peter and I finished the Foundation's brochure today which was hard to do. Not only content wise, but laying it out and formatting it on the computer was a royal challenge. In addition, we prepped for tomorrow's lecture. The Foundation has been selected to be a community based learning project for a MBA course at Georgetown University. Last semester's business class was very fruitful and successful and I am thrilled that Peter's professor invited us back this semester. So stay tuned for highlights from tomorrow's experience.
I would like to end tonight's posting with an article I read in the Washington Post yesterday. This article pressed a lot of hot buttons for all of us at dinner last night. The article is entitled, In sickness and in health. A common phrase one hears at weddings! However, what happens when your spouse has a massive stroke at a young age and the stroke leaves him cognitively impaired? So impaired that he functions more like a child than an adult. How do you continue on? Is this person always your husband even when he becomes so ill that he can't care for himself or his family? The article details the lives of a family devastated by a stroke, however, the wife of the stroke survivor eventually divorces her husband and marries someone else. Yet the difference is her first husband is instrumental in her life and her second husband committed in his wedding vows to helping his wife with the care of her first husband. The reason why this article pushes a lot of buttons for people is most likely because we personalize the situation to our own lives. If we had a stroke, would our spouse want to marry someone else? What would become of us? These are scary questions, but real life problems, problems that I do not think we should jump in and judge too quickly. I guess I feel that way because the role of a caregiver of anyone with an impairment or illness is tiring financially, emotionally, and physically. Caregivers need support and without this support, the caregiver dwindles and this directly impacts the caregivee. Do I condone the fact that this wife divorced her husband and married another man, I DON'T know! But I do know that she lovingly includes her first husband in her life and I have a feeling if it weren't for her, he wouldn't have made so much progress in his recovery and outlook on life. I invite you to read this story for yourself and come to your own conclusions.
In sickness and in health
http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/a-family-learns-the-true-meaning-of-the-vow-in-sickness-and-in-health/2011/11/04/gIQAahyAdP_story.html
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