Tonight's picture was taken in April of 2007. Mattie was five years old! What I think was an absolute hoot about this photo was Mattie wanted to wear a Christmas sweater in April! Putting that aside, this was what our living room window used to look like. Mattie always decorated it in some way. After Mattie died, I left up all his things for years, until they started to disintegrate. Nonetheless, there are still a few of Mattie's things on our windows.
Quote of the day: I hated that nobody mentioned her, it was as if she had never been. ~ Barbara Bush
Last week First Lady, Barbara Bush died. I naturally knew some things about Barbara Bush, but the most glaring thing I did not realize was that one of her daughters , Robin, died from leukemia at the age of 3. When Robin died, Mrs. Bush was only 30 years old and her son, George W. was 7 years old. For the most part I think this tragedy was so great for this family that it wasn't talked about openly.
I guess I am still quite surprised that we shared such a loss in common. In one of the articles below (Remembering Barbara Bush) it talks about Barbara's white hair. To be perfectly honest I never knew the significance of the white hair, or understood that her hair turned white when she was only 28, as she was dealing with Robin's cancer diagnosis and then death.
The article mentions that the white hair was Barbara Bush's public statement of grief, one she felt was needed since she thought that Robin was forgotten by others and the world. A sentimental most bereaved parents get all too well.
The second article (Tragedy created Bush Mother-Son bond) equally fascinated me because it talked about the ramifications on an entire family and the relationships after a child dies. So much so that George W. observed his mom's depression and took it upon himself to spend time with her, tell jokes, and in a way be her caregiver, when he was only a child. A child who lost a sibling. Interestingly enough George W. is mentioned in this article, with respect to how this tragedy affected him and created a more fatalistic way of looking at life.
Which makes sense because at the tender age of 7, he understood that the impossible (the death of his younger sister) is possible.
Below is an excerpt from the Washington Post article that resonated with me. Especially the stress and confusion of sharing with others that a child is dying. Barbara Bush chose not to tell her son, George W., that Robin was dying. So he never said good-bye to her or even understood how seriously ill she was. It certainly is a judgment call, and a hard one, for a parent to make. When Barbara Bush was asked by George W. why she did not tell him about his sister, her response was, "it wouldn't have made a difference." Frankly I think she was trying to spare her son hurt and anguish, but at the end of the day when dealing with child loss, there is no averting the truth and its consequences.
From the Post:
Even after all these years, Barbara Bush still questions the decision not to tell her son that Robin was dying. "I don't know if that was right or wrong. I mean, I really don't, but I know he said to me several times, 'You know, why didn't you tell me?' " she said. "Well, it wouldn't have made a difference." She and her husband feared that the young boy might inadvertently let Robin know she was gravely ill, but mostly, she said, they didn't want to burden him. "We thought he was too young to cope with it," she said. After Robin's death, the pain that hung over the house was often unspoken, according to Randall Roden, a childhood friend of George W. Once, while Roden was spending the night, Bush had a bad dream and his mother rushed in to comfort him. "I knew what it was about – he had nightmares for some period of time," said Roden. "It was one of the most realistic experiences I have ever had about death and I am certain it had a profound effect on him because it had a profound effect on me." It bothered Barbara Bush that friends never mentioned Robin, no doubt because they wanted to spare her and her husband's feelings. But the silence rankled. Finally, as she tells the story, George W. helped break the ice, when one day at a football game he told his father that he wished he were Robin. Friends who were sitting with Bush and his father froze in embarrassment, and his father asked him why he said it. "I bet she can see the game better from up there than we can here," his son replied.
Remembering Barbara Bush, grieving mother, through my own mother’s eyes:
http://www.kansascity.com/opinion/opn-columns-blogs/mary-sanchez/article209478709.html
Tragedy Created Bush Mother-Son Bond:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/politics/campaigns/wh2000/stories/bush072699.htm
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