Tonight's picture was taken in April of 2007. Mattie was five years old and he loved to build, using just about anything really. But most especially building with Legos! That day, Mattie decided to create a Lego city with a train track included. Mattie was always busy and moving. Rarely did you see him sitting down or glued to the TV. In fact, the tell tale sign Mattie was sick was his lack of movement. In the process, Mattie kept us very busy engaging his mind and his little body.
Quote of the day: Don't stop when you are tired. Stop when you are done!! ~ Brayden Brad
I saw this quote and decided it had to be on tonight's blog. Mainly because I feel very tired. Planning and coordinating the Foundation's Walk is a job for ten people. However, it isn't only working the event, but I have to raise money too. So I would say between so many Walk things today, I am exhausted and yet as the quote points out.... you can't stop until you are done!
But what does done mean? Sure you could say after May 20th, the day of our event, I will be done! Unfortunately that isn't the case. Not only from a logistics stand point, since it takes me about a month to close the event and process all donations and gifts in kind, but as the Fall season rolls around, I need to start planning for the next Walk. I feel that I am NEVER done, and that has to be true if I want the Foundation to fund its services and keep Mattie's memory alive. However, stopping when I am done, is far more complicated than the Foundation Walk.
Stopping when I am done seems to be tied into Mattie! As parents nurture their children on a daily basis, my surrogate is the Foundation. The Foundation symbolizes Mattie, his life, and what he taught us. So unlike the typical job that one hopes to advance in and eventually retire from, my work is MUCH different. There is never an advancement in terms of my position or role, and I can't even fathom what it would mean to retire from Mattie Miracle, because who would there be to ensure Mattie's legacy. All complicated questions that twirl around in my mind.
I think about all of these things as I plan every Walk. Which is why planning the walk isn't just a task, it has a deep emotional component that can be wearing. My Foundation work isn't something that I turn on from 9am to 5pm! As Peter knows all too well, because there are some seasons during the year when I am pulling 12 hour days and Peter is working his job by day, and then in the evenings and weekends is working on the Foundation. We take few breaks, because this is what we feel is needed to develop a solid footing for the Foundation.
Ironically I did not think I had MUCH to say tonight, but as is typical, I just sit down and reflect and then my fingers do the rest. I could have easily just said I am tired, in a bad mood, and I will write tomorrow, but I had to tease out why I am in a bad mood. Overall, my mood is influenced by how tired I am, but I am also aware of this time of year where I am bombarded with graduations, hearing about colleges, and family summer vacations, and yet my comparison is I am working on the Foundation. I am planning a walk, and keeping alive the memory of a child who no longer physically exists. It is quite the comparison and yet this is my life and the challenge I always face is remaining sane and stable along this journey.
No comments:
Post a Comment