Friday, November 4, 2022

Friday, November 4, 2022

Tonight's picture was taken in November of 2008. Mattie was home, recovering from his second limb salvaging surgery. This was a huge surgery that involved Mattie's right left, left arm, and left wrist. Therefore, we needed a hospital bed on our first floor as Mattie couldn't do stairs. Our living room looked like a hospital, but we were determined to do whatever it took to stabilize Mattie. As you can see, Patches was thrilled we were home and she spent a lot of time right next to Mattie. It was no wonder why I nicknamed Patches, "nurse Patches." I found whenever I was sick, she stayed by my side and she did the exact same thing with Mattie. 

Quote of the day: You don’t go around grieving all the time, but the grief is still there and always will be. ~ Nigella Lawson

Yesterday evening Peter lit a fire outside. It has been a glorious weather week and I know when we are stressed out having access to greenery and the outdoors is crucial. It helps to restore our sanity. 

An amazing sunset. I truly never paid attention to how special the light is in the Fall. It is a certain level of crispness in the air and in the lighting. I have no idea why I never noticed this before. But I do think with age, different things become important to us and more noteworthy. 

We are surrounded by trees. Which is very important to us. Seeing the sun shining on the autumn leaves captures Peter's and my attention. 

What is so funny about this photo is can you guess where Peter is? Ironically I never have to look too hard, I just have to find Indie, the cat. She is always glued to Peter, almost as loyal as a dog. She is always by his side. 

I got up at 6am in order to get my dad ready and get my mom out the door at 9am. I took her to my hand doctor, which was about a 30 minute commute each way. Thankfully we were going with the traffic this morning, making the commute to Maryland much smoother. My mom's hand has been bothering her since March. Now 8 months later, I finally was able to get her a doctor's appointment. Because her situation wasn't an emergency, we had to wait all these months. But she wasn't happy about it and has been in pain, with limited ability to use her hands. I prepped my mom that this doctor isn't touchy feely per se, but he is kind enough and HIGHLY competent. I know this because I saw him a few years ago when I dealt with a trigger finger. He diagnosed it and treated it on the spot, and the problem is much better now. The doctor is a New Yorker, and he went to Albany Medical School, a school close to where I went to college and several of my friends graduated from Albany Med. 

My mom LOVED the doctor and he was actually very chatty with us. I do find that doctors for the most part understand that I am there with my parents, and many make an effort to connect. When they do this, this captures my attention, because it tells me about their humanistic priorities. Long story short, my mom has tendonitis, and he gave her a cortisone short in the wrist area. Currently she is wearing a brace for the next ten days, but she is already feeling relief. Whenever I go with my mom to the doctor, there is a high level of anxiety. So I know in turn, I need to take over, manage all the logistics, and help to keep her calm. I do think on some level that I store this stress somewhere, and unfortunately the place is my head. I have had an intense migraine since Wednesday and it shows no sign of lightening up. 

Meanwhile, my dad started a higher dosage of Ritalin today, and I am hoping to see some sort of change in his energy level this weekend. Yesterday I was in a horrible mood, but today, I feel like I can manage. I get bouts of feeling overwhelmed and when in that state, it is hard to think things will get better. As I learned from Mattie's cancer diagnosis, I can only take it one day at a time.