Tonight's picture was taken in July of 2009. This was about a month before we knew that Mattie's cancer had metastasized. At that point in time, we thought that we could begin focusing on the physical rehabilitation of Mattie. Our goal was to get him strong, more independent, so he could transition back to school in September. That was the hope. As you can see, Mattie's hair had begun to grow back. That day, Mattie wanted to help us paint the deck of our townhouse. This was an annual spring occurrence and Mattie was always part of the process. What you may not be able to tell was that Mattie used his feet to paint and at one point even held the paint brush between his toes. With his cancer treatment, his left leg and foot were the only limb unaffected by cancer. Which was why he left used that foot and leg like a hand and arm.
Quote of the day: There is no grief like the grief that does not speak. ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
It was another long day here. I spent a good portion of the day at the hospital. My mom had her physical therapy appointment and after that, I had a bone scan and mammogram. The hospital that we go to has a brand new outpatient pavilion. One would think that something BRAND NEW would be great. We have been watching the creation of this pavilion over the last two years. I admit I do not like change for the most part, but NOT all changes are good. This pavilion is indeed one of those NOT so good changes. I am not sure what interior designer worked on this project, but it is very evident to me that patients and clinicians were not consulted. A big mistake.
The new building is sterile looking. Austere! A hospital is a hard enough place to spend time in, but the colors, space, and use of light are crucial and do impact mood. All the walls and almost all the floors seem bright white. It is hard on the eyes and at times I picture in my head the old photos of insane asylums. This is what the space evokes in me. I can't wait what happens with more use, as those bright white spaces will show every scratch and piece of dirt.
In addition to the whiteness, the hospital has moved to electronic check ins. I absolutely HATE interfacing with a machine when it comes to my healthcare. Yes I am old fashioned, I prefer talking with people. How this new mode of check ins will work with older adults is beyond me. Any case after my mom's therapy appointment, I drove her back to the main hospital building, so she could sit in the atrium, listen to live piano music and have the snack I packed her. Meanwhile, I walked back to the new pavilion and dealt with the women's imaging department.
When I spoke to the scheduler weeks ago, she refused to schedule a breast ultrasound for me, like my doctor ordered. She said that the only way I could get a mammogram and ultrasound is if the radiologist reviewing my mammogram feels an ultrasound is necessary. I told the scheduler I wasn't happy with her interpretation of the situation. Any case, after my mammogram today, I asked to speak to the manager of the women's imagining department. After a conversation with her, I am getting an ultrasound and just have to get my physician to write the order in a different way. Now why the scheduler couldn't have relayed that information to me, I have no idea. I do not have a breast issue going on, but given my history, my physician wants to be proactive with me. Of course I can never get over the antidotal information a cancer mom once shared with me. Her son had osteosarcoma too and she said there is research about a high incidence of sons with osteo and their moms developing breast cancer. So far no doctor has confirmed this with me.
After my appointments were over, I walked back to the main hospital and picked up my mom. While there, we got to talking with a hospital employee who encouraged me to reach out to the hospital executive leadership team about my feelings and reflections on the new pavilion. So I walked into the leadership office and spoke to an administrative assistant at the front deck. She was a total nightmare and should NOT be working with people. She basically wanted to dismiss me and said I couldn't speak to anyone, I could only interface with the leadership in writing. Mind you she gave me no information on how to do that, so I demanded that too. Needless to say, my original letter was going to solely be on the new pavilion. Now it will be on the new pavilion and this nightmare of a person I had the displeasure of interacting with today. I can only imagine how many family members she has scared out of that office. Totally unacceptable.
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