Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2004. Mattie was two years old. Each October weekend, we would take Mattie to a different fall festival. This particular one had a petting zoo for the children. Mattie was getting a close encounter with a sheep, and his open hand and the fingers moving, was my tell tale sign that Mattie was fascinated and taking it all in.
Quote of the day: Our grief is as individual as our lives. ~ Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
It was another difficult day. This afternoon, I picked up my dad from his memory care center, and then we all went out to lunch. While driving, my mom started in on me. I hear commentary day in and day out, and negative feedback constantly. Truly, I can take just so much. I tried to redirect my mom and also asked her to stop her lament directed at me. She wouldn't stop. So literally while driving, I was screaming at the top of my lungs. I explained to her that all this tension and stress is going to make me physically ill. If I become ill, the whole house of cards comes crumbling down.
Honestly there are times all this stress gets to me and I just don't know how I will take it one more day, much less one more minute. After we got back from lunch, it was literally evening. Dining with my parents is close to a four hour experience. In any case, I got my dad settled, my mom went upstairs to change, and Sunny and I went for a walk. Sunny can't walk more than a few blocks now because of his cancer, but nonetheless, I know I need to get out of the house, get fresh air, and see greenery. This is my form of therapy, which helps me manage stress.
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