Thursday, October 5, 2023

Thursday, October 5, 2023

Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2006. Mattie was four years old and that day we took him to Butler's Orchard in Maryland. They had a wonderful Fall pumpkin festival. We visited this farm practically every fall and spring. Mattie absolutely loved taking a hay ride out to the pumpkin patch to pick his own pumpkins. His love for all things ORANGE happened early in life, and we loved our fall festival adventures with Mattie. Prior to having Mattie, I literally never went to a fall festival before, so with Mattie there were many firsts. 

Quote of the day: Life is not the way it is supposed to be. It is the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference. ~ Virginia Satir

This morning, after getting my parents settled, I went to meet my friend, Denise for tea/coffee. We have been friends a very long time and we met each other in graduate school. Denise has been part of Mattie's cancer journey and during that time, I met her daughter, Marisa. Marisa was in high school at the time, but she volunteered to visit Mattie when he was home between treatment from the hospital. Marisa engaged and played with Mattie, so that Peter and I could get out of our home and regroup. This was a challenging task for an adult, much less for a teenager. But Marisa rose to the occasion each time. Once Mattie died, it was Marisa's idea to create a bake sale at our annual Walks. Marisa ran our bake sale for ten years, until our Walk turned virtual because of COVID.

Denise and her husband, Dave, attended our psychosocial think tanks at national conferences in 2012 and 2013 and Dave helped us manage our exhibit booths. I mention all of this because you can see their entire family has been a part of our lives. Denise is a successful mental health provider, and when I used to teach my graduate level classes, I always had Denise come and guest lecture in my classes. Today, however, I had the opportunity to experience Denise's therapeutic gifts first hand. No she wasn't giving me therapy (as we are friends) but it was the way she was listening and responding to my issues and concerns that made me have insight into her wonderful skills. It is not like our coffee solved my problems, but it was a glorious feeling to be heard, supported, and valued. In my daily life I am balancing one problem, one heartache, one compliant after the other. Truthfully there is so much one person can take before cracking. 

Denise surprised me with a box of assorted teas and look at these handcrafted chocolates! I absolutely love the fall theme. When Mattie was fighting for his life in the hospital, Team Mattie brought me tea and chocolates practically daily. So to me, receiving these specific gifts ironically reminds me that I am a mom. Not just any mom, but Mattie's mom. 

Don't you know it while Denise and I were sitting at Starbuck's, ABBA's Dancing Queen played. Mind you I go to this Starbuck's all the time with my mom and have never heard Dancing Queen played. So the fact that it played today was not by coincidence. It was another sign that Mattie is with me, he is watching over me, and reminds me I am never alone. Having amazing members of Team Mattie, like Denise, who are involved in my life is proof that the spirit of Mattie is alive and well.